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“Hold on,” I gasp out.
She looks surprised, maybe a little hurt, as she pulls back. “Really? You don’t like it?”
“What? Of course I do. It’s the opposite. I want this to last way longer and I want you there with me.”
Her confusion makes my stomach drop. Shit. What did I say? All I want is for our first time to be as good for her as it is for me.
She stares at me, and my heart sinks further with each second of silence. When her eyes cloud, I kick myself.
“Hey,” I say gently. “I’m so sorry. I just?—”
“Will you shut up?” she mumbles, shoving me back down.
She climbs up until she’s stretched over me, her face hovering just inches from mine.
I’m relieved, confused, and entirely turned on when she leans in for a long, deep kiss. She breaks it abruptly and straightens to pull off her top.
What exactly is happening right now?
The question fades quickly as I get lost in the art of her body. I’ve seen her in just her underwear and bra many times during costume and outfit changes. But it’s different when the performance is for you. When it’s not an accident but an invitation.
She’s quiet as I run my palms along her sides. Goose bumps break out over her skin, and I can’t tear my eyes away. She’s straight-up mesmerizing. How is this happening? How can someone like me even be here with someone like her?
“You’re so beautiful,” I say quietly. “You’re sunlight breaking through my clouds.”
Tears well in her eyes, and I take a heavy breath. God, I’m such an idiot.
“Larinda, hey. I’m so sorry if I’ve done something?—”
“I love you,” she says, cutting me off. “I love you and I want to be with you. I don’t care about the rules anymore. I can’t even imagine being with anyone else. No one has ever made me feel cherished the way you do. No one has ever made a relationship about me.”
Rare emotion pricks at my own eyes as I absorb her beautiful and heartbreaking confession. I don’t understand how anyone who held her heart wouldn’t appreciate the treasure in their hands.
“Larinda…” I shake my head. What do I even say to that? I love you too isn’t nearly enough. You’re the best thing to ever happen to me is true but too much of a cliché. I’m so glad Chad made me help him buy mints so I could get condoms. Also a no.
“I’ve lived in a shadow for as long as I can remember,” I say, holding her gaze. “Of course this relationship is about you. You’re my fucking sun.”
Tears break from her eyes and trickle down her cheeks. It’s no wonder I’m so mesmerized when I have a living rainbow hovering over me.
She moves in for another kiss that quickly escalates into more. My fingers tangle in her hair as I flip us around so I’m on top. Her hips instinctively lift to press against me, and suddenly, I really am grateful for Chad and his weird-ass spy missions.
“Please tell me you have a condom,” she moans as we grind against each other.
I tug her head back to kiss down her neck, loving her impatient whimpers.
“I do,” I chuckle through a string of kisses. She shivers at the tickle on her sensitive skin and slides her own hand into my hair. I love the slight burn of her desperate grip.
“Val, please. I’m tired of waiting.” Her expression is too cute for words.
“Okay, just a sec.”
I reach for my bag on the floor and pull it open. It only takes one look for my high to crash. Hard.
Oh no.
Pushing up, I swing my legs over the edge of the bed for a deeper search.
“What’s wrong? Everything okay?” She settles behind me and rests her chin on my shoulder. “If you don’t have one, it’s fine. We can do other stuff.”
