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Would he even want me? I know he cares about me, probably even likes me as a person, but he doesn’t have much patience or respect for everything else about my world. He despises Jarvis. He’s never said it, but I can tell by the way he tenses every time we cross paths that he has no interest in pretending otherwise. Jarvis would probably despise him as well if he stepped outside his own orbit long enough to learn other people existed.
A twinge goes through me as I recall the text on my phone this morning.
Jarvis: Hey baby luvin life luvin u see u @ 2 boo got a surprise 4 u
Not sure what that means, but it can’t be good.
I responded with an ice cream cone emoji.
“So, um, I wanted to talk to you about ‘Gray Rainbows,’” I say as casually as possible.
When his gaze lifts to me again, I lose all hope of ingesting my stale biscuit.
Gosh, he’s beautiful.
What is wrong with you?! Why are you acting so weird? You will never survive this tour if you can’t get this crush under control. It’s Val. It’s just Val. Your colleague. Your producer. One of your closest friends…
I clear my throat. Then, take a sip of water to soothe it. “The, uh, turn. After the second chorus.”
His dark brow lifts as he waits.
I swallow hard.
“I think we should maybe add some backing vocals on the second line. Pushed way far back, you know? A ton of reverb. Either a harmony or a run. Ear-candy stuff.”
“Sure. We can try it.”
How does he manage to sound so casual and in control? My entire body is bubbling beneath my skin. Everything in me wants to reach over and brush his warm fingers resting on the table. Trace the intricate tattoos. I love watching those hands skim over the trackpad on his laptop or the keys of a midi controller. So confident and capable like the rest of him. Watching his brilliant mind work is one of the hottest things I’ve ever seen.
This isn’t helping!
“We could even play with a telephone effect or something,” he says. “That song has an EDM vibe, so we might be able to pull off a vocal chop as well.”
Oh, yes. I like that too.
“That could work. Um, also the strings on ‘Too Much.’ I like the melody of the riff, but the sound isn’t quite right.”
His folding chair creaks as he leans back. “Agreed. I already swapped out the symphony orchestra for something darker that has more of a Mellotron feel.”
“Ooh, yes. Perfect. See? This is why I love you.”
Love?! No no no.
He knows I didn’t mean love, right? Because I didn’t—even if my tone was way softer and more serious than it should have been.
His return smile seems pretty standard and safe, so hopefully he didn’t hear my forbidden feelings creeping in.
“That’s my job,” he says in the playful tone I should have used.
“Yup.”
My teeth sink into my lip as the silence returns. Conversation has resumed around us now that the others have accepted my presence. It’s kind of nice being part of the group. Maybe I should spend more time with the crew. They give so much to me. What do I give them besides a job?
I’ll see if we can get everyone a hoodie.
I shift in my chair, still trying to think of safe topics when my foot presses against something beneath the table. Val’s gaze darts to me, and I realize it must be his shoe.
What should happen next is that we pull back with a surprised chuckle. Maybe make a joke about “playing footsies.” We’ve had plenty of incidental brushes while working together, even playful shoves and arm smacks. This would be easy to correct and laugh off.
