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I thrust into my hand in short, jerky strokes as ribbons of cum paint the shower floor, then disappear down the drain.
As I come back down, I lean my forehead against the arm braced on the wall, listening to her catch her breath. She remains silent for so long that I start to wonder if she’s fallen back to sleep, but then she speaks.
“Nico?” she says, her voice hesitant.
“Sì, tesoro?”
“Don’t take this the wrong way, but… I—sort of missed you tonight.”
My lips stretch into a wide smile. “I missed you too.” Christ. I am ever so fucked.
“Then, at the risk of sounding clingy, will I see you tomorrow?”
Tomorrow night, I’ll be busy putting Romano in the ground. Victories like that used to be followed by meaningless, adrenaline-fueled marathon sex with one woman after another. But after tomorrow’s war, I know all I would want is Sophie.
“Si, I’ll be there. It may be late when I’m done…”
“No worries. If you take too long, I’ll just get started without you.”
I huff out a laugh, “Nice. I’ll be counting on it.”
“You know, Nico, men with guns, men like you... they don’t scare me. But this,” she pauses, her breath catching in a way that makes me envision her shaking her head in disbelief, “this—us. It terrifies me.”
Her words strike a chord in that part of me that always leaps to life when she shows me her soft side. The spray of the shower becomes a background noise as her voice, suddenly hushed and vulnerable, becomes my sole focus. I kill the water, stepping out and wrapping a towel around my waist, the phone pressed closer to my ear.
“What scares you about us, Sophie?” I wanted to move things at Sophie’s pace, not wanting to scare her off, but today’s close call with death has loosened some of my inhibitions. I need to make her see that there’s more to fear from the world out there than what lies between us.
“You were right, Nico, about what I want. I want you,” she murmurs. “But I’m scared it’s not real, that it won’t last.”
I want to hoot in joy at her admission, but I manage to keep my voice even. “Sophie, what I’m hearing is you don’t want this,—what we’ve got going, to end?”
“Uh-huh.” Her voice is a soft whisper.
“Which means you’re more than ready for it to begin.”
“Nico…”
“I’m in love with you, Sophie. I intend to own every single part of you—body and soul, and I have no plans whatsoever of ever letting you go. So, how is that for a beginning?”
She bursts into tears, her sobs raw and heart-wrenching. “Oh, Nico, I… that’s…”
“Tesoro,” I interject, laughing, “You’re crying over a man? I never thought I’d see the day.”
“Shut up, you awful, beautiful man,” She manages between sobs.
“Okay, get some sleep, amore,” I chuckle, wishing like hell I was close to her. “And I know it’ll be hard, but try to resist the urge to paint giant red hearts on your home and office walls before I get there tomorrow night.”
“Oh my God, I cannot deal with you right now, Nico,” she laughs, her eye roll practically audible before the line goes dead.
I toss my phone on the bed and do about ten mental fist pumps. And yes, a couple of physical ones.
I can’t remember ever feeling this charged up before. Sophie Kellan turns all the dark and grotesque parts of me into something that feels worth it. But I understand why she’s scared. It’s like stepping off a ledge into outer darkness, with no way of knowing what’s waiting when one hits the bottom.
At least now I know we’ll hit it together.
Chapter Nineteen
Sophie
