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Filling my mouth with water only to cover it up and make me choke on it while hitting me over and over again, giving me rest so I won’t die.
Through all this, though, only one voice keeps me alive.
Only one voice keeps me steady.
Only one voice keeps me sane and makes me hold on to the present despite it being unbearable.
Survive.
Survive until you can beat them.
Jimena
“Jimena.” I startle at the sound of my name, blinking several times and sitting up. “I brought you home,” Remi says.
I give him a grateful smile while a heavy breath escapes me, and I massage my sore neck. Falling asleep in an uncomfortable position is hell in itself.
After my rightful outburst at Florian, hanging out at the club took inhuman strength until Remi offered to drop Lenora and me home since my brother was wrapped around Briseis like an octopus.
The man is obsessed, and it fills my bruised heart with joy because he deserves to have something more in life than constant violence.
“Thank you, Remi. I don’t know what I would have done without you.” Sometimes I wonder how different my life would’ve turned out if my brother didn’t have such amazing friends who’d do anything for him and his family.
“Don’t you ever forget it.” He taps my nose and leans back, grabbing my bag and placing it on my lap while his dark eyes focus on me, and I hope he doesn’t see my pain. “You know you can tell me anything, right? Whatever you say will stay between us.”
And just like that, my hopes die.
Mustering up a smile that doesn’t fool him, I put my hand on his and squeeze it. “I know, and I promise I will once I’m ready. Right now, though, I’d really like to lie down.” He’s done so much for me over the years, so lying to him is pointless, but the difference between Remi compared to Santiago and Florian…he won’t ever push me. He respects my boundaries, and for that, he has my respect and love. “Once I’m ready, though…I hope you’ll muster up all the patience in the world.” Their relationship with Florian is complicated, so adding me to the mix would turn their usual fire into a whole inferno.
He kisses me on the forehead and nods. “Fine. I’ll always be on your side, Jimena. I don’t have any siblings, so you’re all I have.”
“And the dark four,” I tease, and he barks a laugh.
“And them, yes.”
Although judging by all the rumors and his weird behavior, he won’t be alone for long.
We’ve officially reached a point where the dark four are settling down, but the thought is too painful for me to focus on.
“Good night, Remi.”
“Night, darling.”
Getting out of the car, I groan inwardly that I’m spending the night at my parents’ place because we have a family breakfast planned in the morning. After the disastrous dinner we had recently, it’s the least we could do for Mom.
I exhale in relief when I find no one in the hallway. Even the staff must be asleep, and the last thing I need right now is to pretend I’m fine.
It’s such a hassle around the people who know you well.
Quickly reaching my room, I lock the door before taking off my dress and heels. I go straight to the bathroom, where I ignore my reflection in the mirror.
Stepping inside the shower, I turn on the hot water and stand under the spay, letting it hit my sore muscles, and finally the tears I held back all this time break through, falling down as water washes them away.
I spent a lot of time hiding in the shower, which was the only place where I allowed myself to cry. No one would hear me or see my puffy face afterward, so it was the perfect setup.
“I have a threesome waiting for me. Unless you don’t mind joining me? You can stay and watch if you want.”
I never cried here because of Florian, but I guess there’s a first time for everything.
