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“Go right ahead,” I said motioning her toward the guide who would give her the rundown of what to do.
“All by myself?”
“All by yourself.”
She squealed and bounced a little on her feet before she reached up and kissed me quickly, hurrying off toward the guide.
I laughed, smiling as I watched her listen intently to everything the instructor said. It was definitely hard not insisting I be in the passenger seat with her, but again, this wasn't about me. Simple luxuries I took for granted, like being able to go into my garage and pick out any number of vehicles I wanted to drive wherever I wanted, had always been denied to her. There were other things on her list that both shocked and saddened me—like shopping for and cooking her own food.
But there were just as easily other things that I was super excited to try with her, this being one of them, going dancing being another. It never ceased to shock me how cloistered she'd been, even though she told me so many stories about her past. Once I saw that personal list of wants on my table, reading it and thinking about the mindset she'd been in when she made it, had hit me right in the chest.
The only consolation I could take was the fact that things were different now. With me and my protection and my resources, she could cross off everything on that list. And I'd make damn sure of it, too. Hell, she could make as many lists as she wanted, and I would dedicate my life to helping her experience every single thing she'd ever missed out on. As long as she would have me.
As I watched her climb into the car, she waved to me excitedly and my heart grew in my chest. Every damn time I saw her like this, so free and joyful, it was like a spark coming to life where previous encounters had only been an ember.
Every day she grew more confident. Every day she settled into this new life more comfortably, and it was amazing to watch.
She hit the gas, nothing timid about it, and took off like a shot. I heard her squeal through the open window as she found her rhythm, making her way around the track at a steady speed. Every time she flew past me, her smile was bigger and bigger, and by the time she was done, she leaped out of the car and raced over to me. She jumped when she was a few feet away, knowing I'd catch her.
She wrapped her arms round my neck as I caught her against me, her feet dangling high above the ground as she kissed the fuck out of me.
“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” she said, excitement lacing her tone. “That was so amazing!”
I held her to me, not bothering to put her down as I smiled at her. “Anything for you,” I said.
She kissed me again, a desperate edge to this one that hadn't been there before. “Anything?” she asked.
I read the look in her eyes easily enough. “Let me get you home.”
Three hours later, I laid on my back, completely spent from making Serenity moan my name over and over again. Her head rested on my chest as she traced the lines of my ink, something she liked to do, especially if she was lost in her head.
Which she shouldn't be, considering I'd made her come four times—twice on my face and twice on my cock.
“Where are you at, angel?” I asked, shifting so I could look down at her.
She blinked a few times, looking up at me apologetically. “Sorry,” she said. “Lost in my head.”
“You want me to come find you?”
“If anybody could, it’d be you,” she said confidently. She let out a sigh. “I was just thinking about this one time when I was sixteen and I managed to slip past my guard. It was something I’d never done before so I only had one detail on me. I just wanted to drive, so I managed to get the keys to my mother's car out of her purse and made it into the garage. My cousins had been over earlier that day—they were the same age as me—and had talked about how much fun it was to have their license. How they would go get food at restaurants that weren't connected to the family.”
I listened patiently.
“I only made it to the end of the driveway before I was stopped,” she continued. “My guard jerked me out of the car while it was still running, and it rolled backward until it crashed into our closed gate.” She went quiet, her eyes distant like she was fully entrenched in the memory.
“When the guard told my father, I was punished with his belt. But my mother got it worse because she’d left her purse in a place that I easily could get to. She couldn't leave the house for two weeks because of the black eye he'd given her, and even though my mother and I were never close, I've still never gotten over that. I never tried to drive again after that.”
I sighed, gently squeezing her in a silent apology. “I never meant for today to dredge up such traumatic?—”
“That's not...” She shook her head against my chest. “I just…today was so amazing. And I was thinking that it really shouldn't have been. I mean, don't get me wrong, the way you went above and beyond is everything to me, but I was just driving. Yes, it was an amazing race car and a private track, but driving was on my list.” She shook her head again. “It makes me feel silly, and then I do my best to trace it back to why I hadn't tried to do more of those things in the first place and it dredges up memories I thought I’d long forgotten. Secrets I tried to keep even from myself, if that makes sense.” She turned, placing her chin on my chest so she could look at me directly. “Do you get that?”
I nodded. I absolutely understood where she was coming from. Our world was riddled with memories that would be healthier to forget, secrets that we wished we never had to keep.
“Do you want me to tell you a secret no one else knows?” I asked. “It's only fair since you told me one of yours.”
“You don't have to,” she said. “I didn't tell you as a form of quid pro quo. I told you because I trust you, but I’m sure you've realized that by now.”
I smiled down at her, reveling in that declaration.
