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“Bubba, how did you get out of your darkness after your accident?” I asked.
“I don’t know. I just woke up. I don’t remember specifics about it. I remember being in it and only able to see my body, but I don’t have memories of any sounds. I just woke up in the hospital a few days later. It took me a little bit to remember what had happened after I woke up,” Andrei said.
“That’s how it was for me too,” Viktor said. “I have a memory of being in it, but nothing further.”
“And you just woke up out of yours too?” I asked. He nodded.
“Same for me,” Misha said.
“Me too,” Stephen said.
“Interesting,” I said. I remembered my dad telling me that Ivan could walk between worlds and that I could too. It felt like that had something to do with the difference between our experiences and the other guys’ experiences, but I wasn’t sure how. I was sure, however, that it was one more way we were all connected. It wasn’t by chance that they all found each other, and it wasn’t by chance that they found me.
The next afternoon, I was in Adrik’s office while he finished up work. I had a book and was stretched out on the couch. I could see Adrik peek at me now and then while he was working. He loved it when his schedule was clear and I would come to his office while he worked, just so he could be near me. I had to admit to loving it as well. I always worried I was going to distract him, but he insisted that I was the best distraction there was, whether I was there or not. He admitted to his mind wandering more when I wasn’t there and he couldn’t see me.
Andy stuck his head in the office door, knocking on the door frame lightly. We both looked toward the door. “Do you have a few minutes, Boss?” Adrik nodded his head, then glanced at me as Andy walked into the office. Adrik was surprised to see him, which meant he was unsure of what was about to come out of Andy’s mouth. I understood his look and quietly got up from the couch, taking my usual spot behind Adrik’s desk, so I could see Andy as he talked to Adrik.
Adrik stayed quiet, as usual. Andy sat across from Adrik’s desk. He looked a little nervous, but the last time he was in the office had been intense for him. “I was hoping to discuss something with you, sir. I’m not 100 percent sure on it yet, but I’ve also run into somewhat of a dead end on it now. I think it’s important enough that you know.”
I was now curious what he was going to tell us. I could feel Adrik’s anger start to rise. He hated surprises. Andy glanced at Adrik, then to me. He took a deep breath and continued, “I overheard Mike on the phone a few times. Once the night they got me out, once after I was moved here. I don’t know for sure who he was talking to, but he used a code that I’ve heard Anthony use for years.”
I stood up and grabbed Adrik’s phone from his desk, calling Viktor. I let it ring, then ended the call. They were all in the office within seconds. Andy went pale when they all walked in. “Don’t worry, Andy. I just want them to hear this as well. Tell them what you just told us.” He looked at the guys, who were still standing, and repeated what he’d just told us. He was still nervous, but he was trying to keep himself composed.
“What’s the code?” Ivan asked.
“It’s one word. Anthony got it from an old movie when he was younger and he’s been obsessed with it ever since. He always wanted to be the stereotypical gangster you see in movies. He has all his guys call him ‘sicario’ when they talk to him,” Andy said.
I felt like I’d been punched in the stomach. I stumbled backward toward the cabinet to catch myself. I was immediately back in the ring with Mike, right before I kicked him the last time.
“Do you want to adjust your opinion of me yet?
“Fuck you, whore.”
Then that last word he said to me. The one I almost didn’t hear. “Sicario.”
My mind was racing. Why would he say that? Why would he basically be telling me he was working for Anthony? Why would Andy be telling us this now? Why not earlier? Was Andy also working for Anthony? I felt my anger rising to the surface as I tried to make sense of who we could trust and who we couldn’t.
I didn’t hear Adrik get up from his chair. I was snapped back to reality when I felt his arm around my waist. I looked up at him. He was clearly concerned. “Are you okay? What’s going on? Talk to me.” I glanced quickly at Andy, who was still nervous, but appeared to be concerned as well. The guys were all still standing, but they’d moved to surround Andy.
I responded in Russian. I wasn’t sure we could trust Andy at this point, and it was making me angry. “That’s the last word he said to me in the ring. I doubt any of you heard it. I almost didn’t hear it because he was having trouble talking and he mumbled it. I didn’t think anything of it at the time. I thought he was calling me a hitman.”
“Why would he call you a hitman, gazelle?” Misha asked, still in Russian.
“That’s what that word means, my adorable Russian guardian. I didn’t think anything of it then. But why would Andy be telling us this now? Why not earlier? Why does he sit on this information before telling us?” I asked. Adrik’s anger was also starting to rise to the surface, but he was running his hand over my back, trying to keep himself calm.
Ivan, who was also clearly angry, looked to Andy, asking in English, “Why are you just telling us this now?” He might’ve had a threatening edge to his voice that may have made Andy clench a little.
“I was trying to catch Mike talking to Anthony again so I could confirm it, but I haven’t seen him around for a few days. I know Armando was gone over the weekend, so I figured he was with them, but I haven’t seen Mike since they got back. I’m worried he went back to Anthony. And if I’m being honest, you guys always seem like you want to kill me anytime I give you information,” Andy said, running his hand through his hair.
“And yet, you’re still alive. It’s like magic, really,” I said, crossing my arms across my chest. “Don’t be a pussy, Andy. You’ve been in this world long enough, for fuck’s sake. They saved your ass, gave you a safe place to live, and everything you need. If they wanted to kill you, you would’ve been dead a long time ago. Cut the bullshit.”
Adrik cleared his throat quietly beside me and I knew it was because he was trying not to laugh. I felt his hand slip under my shirt, his thumb tracing circles on the bare skin of my back.
Andy looked to me, surprised at my words. He thought for a moment. Ivan was losing patience and said, “You realize if she’s losing patience with you that mine was gone before I even walked into the office. It’s in your best interest that you start talking.”
Andy started to say something, then stopped himself. He took a deep breath, then said. “I was trying to work it into a job here. Either with your security or Armando’s. I knew if I could catch Mike working for Anthony, it would look good for me and you’d be more willing to trust me, so I waited to try and get hard proof. But then I haven’t seen him for a few days, so I got worried.”
I looked at Viktor to gauge his reaction. The look on his face said he was not the least bit interested in hiring Andy at this moment. He said, in Russian, “He’s not working for us. I can talk to Armando and see if he wants him.”
