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Bellona rubbed the spot on her hand again, annoyed with herself. She couldn't afford to get attached to Rafael, for both their sakes. He would eventually die, and she would be the same as usual. A heartbroken war god wasn't something the world needed.
Bellona turned her shower cold and let the sharp bite of it chase away any soft thoughts she had for the man downstairs. He was a client, and she couldn't forget it. Her only responsibility was to help him survive until they could go their separate ways.
Bellona's cell phone was beeping with a message when she got out of the shower.
Are you still alive? Call me.
Bellona sat down on her bed and called Set back. "What on earth are you still doing awake?" she asked.
"I was restless and curious about how you and the kid were," Set replied.
"He's not a kid. Not anymore. And we are fine. The fuckers firebombed his house, but I managed to get him out. This is a mess." Bellona told Set all about Rafael's business partners and the Costa family.
"You have criminal connections that I don't. Can you have a look into the Costas for me? I need dirt. The more, the better. I'll owe you a favor of your choosing," Bellona said once she was finished.
"I'll pull on some threads and see what shakes loose. How is your boy handling all of this? Please tell me he's not a crier."
"No tears. No tantrums. He's strangely coolheaded about it. Good nerves, considering everyone is trying to kill him. He even ate some pasta that I made with the sauce you gave me. He went to sleep straight afterward."
Set said, "That's a good thing. I suppose his nerves would have to be to kiss you all those years ago. Don't suppose he's tried to again?"
"No."
"Shame. You might be less grumpy if you got laid occasionally," Set replied with a chuckle. He was the only being alive that she would allow that kind of comment from.
Bellona rolled her eyes. "Just because you are all domesticated and soul-bonded doesn't mean the rest of us want to be. Getting involved with mortals is a bad idea."
"I'm not telling you to get soul-bonded with him. I'm just suggesting that maybe if you fuck him, you will get him out of your system once and for all."
Bellona inspected her nails. "I don't know what you are talking about, amico."
"Yes, you bloody do. His kiss gave you peace, and it freaked you out so much you've pouted about it for the last twenty years."
"Still a bad idea. I don't know... Do you ever feel like Fate is pulling your strings? I've rarely felt the presence of the Parcae in my life before, but this man… I don't know what to think. He's lived a few streets from me all this time," Bellona admitted. The alien feeling of vulnerability crept over her.
"It was the same when I met Ayla. It was like every war you have ever fought was to prepare you to protect them, and when they are near, it's like all the horror eating your brain away suddenly goes quiet," Set said, his voice softening. "At least, that's how it felt to me. If I can move past the oceans of blood in my past and find some happiness, why can't you?"
Bellona flopped back on her pillows. "It would be better just to kill him myself."
"Maybe, but you won't. You like him. It's okay. Someone had to sneak through those defenses of yours at some point." Set yawned. "Try and get some sleep, Bells. You did good deeds tonight. That's got to be enough sometimes. I'll try to find out more about the Costas. If I were you, I would go after the business partners and see what they are into. It's reeks of blackmail. I'll call you when I learn something."
"Thanks, Set. I appreciate it," Bellona replied before hanging up. She lay staring at the ceiling for a while before getting up again. She wrapped a robe around herself before heading downstairs for some water.
Bellona was wandering past the kitchen before she could think about it too much. The guest room door was open a crack, and she opened it a little further to check in on Rafael. He had gotten rid of his shirt and lay sprawled on the bed.
Bellona tried not to look too closely at Rafael's lean brown muscles and chest hair. It was hard to do because she liked the way he was made, and those soft gray pants he was wearing made her whole body short-circuit. He was sleeping peacefully, a hand tucked under his head, and didn't seem to have a care in the world. It was as if no one had tried to kill him that night, and a goddess hadn't openly revealed herself to him.
Why had this human man gotten under her skin so badly? She had felt the pull towards him twenty years ago and had walked away. She had wondered ever since what would have happened if she had stayed.
As the years passed, it had been easy to convince herself that he was safer and happier because of it. That didn't seem to be the case at all. No wife, no kids, no life outside of work. How had this happened to him? Seldom good had come out of gods and mortals mixing, but she was starting to regret never checking in on him.
Bellona watched him sleep until the tight ball of worry that had been in her gut since she had seen his bounty picture in Tangier finally loosened. She didn't know what the feeling was that was coursing through her. It was a strange relief that he was unharmed. A part of it was Rafael's natural effect on her. He calmed down the relentless energy and roar of battlefields inside of her. She needed her edge right now, and he took part of that away from her.
Bellona rubbed the bridge of her nose at her soft thoughts. She was the goddess of war, for fuck's sake. Bellona took some deep breaths and looked at him again. He hadn't moved an inch.
Rafael was safe, and where she could watch over him. She swore that was exactly how she would keep him. She didn't care if she had to burn down Rome to root out the parasites that were trying to kill him. After all, it would hardly be the first time she had done it.
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