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It was just all eyes on me all over again.
“I didn’t have anything to do with this,” I snapped once more. I didn’t need their accusatory shit.
“Yes, you did,” Nolan said. The unforgiving tone in his voice wasn’t lost on me. Neither was his cold expression as he stared at me. Sweet and young fucking Nolan—Nolan who didn’t get mad at fucking anything—was pissed. At me.
“Don’t you start, kid,” I snarled. “You don’t have a goddamn clue—”
“The clueless one is you,” he interrupted. “It’s all about you, you, you. What you want. What you need. What you think. Did you ever stop to think about her? Her pain? Her life? Did you even care?”
“Don’t you fucking go there,” I warned. “You don’t have a goddamn say in any of this. You don’t have a goddamn clue—”
“You didn’t just leave her! You left us too!” Nolan shouted, his hand slamming to the tabletop. His words knocked the fucking wind out of me. I didn’t have a single thing to say to that. What the fuck could I say to that? “Three years! You left! You left us! For three years! We didn’t have a clue! Were you alive? Dead? Did you even care anymore? You left us! Ginny didn’t.”
“Nol…”
“No, don’t you do that,” he shot back. “You don’t get to do that. You left, but she stayed. She ran my store, made sure Declan got his morning coffee and avoided people when he wanted to, helped Finn with his social media and design, ran food to Lucas and did his laundry when his shifts were all messed up, she helped take care of Sam when shit got hard, and she spent time with Mom. She did all that. Not you. She showed up for our family. Not you. No, you couldn’t be bothered with us. With any of us!”
“You can’t really think I didn’t care about you guys,” I said.
“Yeah, we can,” Sam replied with a sigh. When Declan shot him a look, he added, “Look, we said we wouldn’t get involved, and we wouldn’t pick sides, but I think we’re past that. You left us, Killian. She stayed and kept trying, even though it was clear she was hurting.”
“She doesn’t deserve to be shut out,” Lucas stated. He crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair. “She’s as much a part of this family as you are. This is bullshit.”
“Fucking noted,” I growled. My gaze flicked down the table to Mom, just waiting for her to chastise me, but she didn’t. Instead, her hands were neatly folded and her eyes were narrowed as she watched us. “Anyone else want to chime in? Throw me under the bus?”
“Stop acting like a child,” Declan said. “We stood by both of you through all of it, and neither of you gave an inch as to what was happening. We respected that. But if I’m being real damn honest right now, you leaving without a word for three years… that I don’t respect. And I don’t respect the way you’ve bulldozed her since you came back.”
“I haven’t fucking bulldozed—”
“The incident at the Stones, the events after the bar fight at the Ironwoods,” he ticked them off on his fingers as he talked, “the t-shirt, the song. But when did you talk to her?”
“I texted her that we need to talk.”
“Before or after you slept with her?” he demanded. Fuck, he wasn’t holding punches. “You bulldozed her. And I have a feeling it wasn’t the first time. I’m not saying you don’t love her, Killian, but I am saying you don’t fucking think about how your actions affect other people.”
“Stop acting like you’re my dad,” I growled.
“No, but I am your mother,” Mom cut in. Fuck, fuck, fuck. “Enough is enough, boys. We’re going to continue celebrating Declan’s birthday.”
“What?” I retorted. “You have nothing to say?”
Yeah, I was poking the bear, but I was fucking pissed. The look Mom leveled on me did nothing to quell that.
“If you want to know what I think, Killian, I think you’re afraid of the pain,” she said. I frowned. “How many times did you give up playing guitar because building the calluses hurt? More times than I can count. And every time I had to coax you back into it and remind you that we have to grow through the pain. You’ve always quit when things hurt, and this is no different. I think you’re afraid to face whatever happened with Genevieve because it’ll hurt. I think she’s hurting too. I can’t help—none of us can—because neither of you will let us. So, I’m going to love you. Both of you. And I’ll hold my tongue because if I’m being honest, baby boy, you couldn’t handle the things I want to say right now. Now, we’re going to finish celebrating your brother’s birthday, and then I’m going to go check on my daughter-in-law because that’s what I do. Do you have any other fights you’d like to pick?”
I opened my mouth to say something but nothing came out. My neck burned with a mixture of anger and embarrassment. Jesus fuck. I really was the family fuck up. There was no way around that one.
“No,” I murmured.
“Raven, would you mind helping me get the cake and dishes?” Mom asked. “Cade too, please.”
“Of course,” Raven replied.
“Anything,” Cade agreed.
I rolled my eyes. It was a tactic to leave the six of us alone, which was probably a poor fucking idea.
“You know,” Finn began. There it was. “Whatever happened, we wouldn’t judge.”
