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“Yeah,” Sam replied quietly. He went to clap me on the shoulder but hesitated, pulling away instead. Probably fucking smart. I was a goddamn livewire. My skin vibrated with every minute sensation rolling through me.
I watched Raven’s wolf, taking in her steady breaths while rampant thoughts tumbled through my mind. I replayed every moment and calculated the damage I’d done. Minimal. It had to be minimal.
“Is she going to be okay?” Declan asked. My eyes flicked up as he joined me, a half-dressed and disheveled mess. He crouched beside Raven and ran his hand through her fur in one long stroke.
“She’ll be fucking sore,” I said honestly. “She took a beating—we both did—but I did my best to minimize the damage. She might have cuts from the plates in my boots and contact burns from my glove, but she’ll be okay. Nothing broke. I don’t know how long it’ll take for her to shift back, but I imagine she should. I won’t take the gear off until she does just in case. I tried my best, Declan, I promise.”
“Yeah,” he whispered. The defeated look on his face as he studied me was unnerving like he didn’t know what to do with me. “Is this what you’ve become?”
“You asked what I do for a living,” I replied and nodded to Raven. “This is what I do. I deal with rogue shifters and magical creatures.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m good at it,” I said simply. There was no other explanation besides that. “And because I can stop them from hurting people.”
“How many have you killed?”
“The goal is to bring them in, not kill them—”
“How many?” Declan interrupted. My metaphorical armor hardened as I took in the judgment on his face. He’d never fucking understand.
“Nine in two years,” I told him. “Ten if you count the hunter.”
“Ten people,” he whispered. “You’ve killed ten people. Does it… does it even bother you, Killian? Does it faze you that you’re killing people? Honest-to-God people with families and people who care about them.”
Every fucking night when I closed my eyes it bothered me. I almost said those words out loud. I almost told him how my dreams ran red with the blood of the people I’ve killed—that deep down I knew I was no better than any of them.
“No,” I lied. I did so because he didn’t need to know. None of them did.
Chapter 59
Genevieve
Ineed your help. Please.” The quiet desperation in Declan’s voice when he called—with what phone, I had no idea—sent me running to his house. I knew Declan. He wouldn’t reach out unless it was absolutely necessary. That alone was more than enough to make me risk it.
I didn’t have a clue what I was walking into, but the sight of Cade passed out in a fitful sleep on the couch, bandaged and beat up was enough to stop me in the doorway.
“What happened?” I asked Declan.
“The hunter took control of her wolf,” Declan told me. Oh no. “He tried to keep her occupied while Killian worked up a plan to stop her.”
There was so much information in that single sentence.
“Where is she?”
“Our room,” he said with a look of defeat. “I can’t get her to open the door. I’m worried about where her head is, but I can’t reach her. I know it’s not fair to you… considering today… but…”
I nodded slowly. Extenuating circumstances. We’d call it extenuating circumstances.
“It’s okay,” I whispered. Reaching out, I squeezed his forearm in reassurance. “Have you stopped to take care of yourself, Declan?”
The way he scrubbed his hand over his face was a loud enough answer than anything else he could say. Taking his shoulders, I gently turned him in the direction of the kitchen.
“Go make something to eat for you, get something to drink, and take a break,” I ordered. “I’ll take care of Raven. I promise.”
“Thank you, Ginny.” He sighed. “I know this isn’t easy—”
“Don’t do that, please,” I interrupted. If we ended up in a back-and-forth about what this was like for me, I’d probably break. I already dreaded what would happen if my father found out. I didn’t want to discuss it either. “Go, take care of you. I’ve got this.”
