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That unannounced fucker turned out to be Roan with that stupid ass grin on his face as he slid off his sunglasses. His work truck sat in my drive. Was he in town for Declan and Raven’s house? I couldn’t imagine he was here to see me because the last time I had any vague recollection of seeing him, I’d hit him while drunk as fuck.
“What the fuck do you want?” I asked.
“Who the fuck answers the door with their dick hard?” Roan shot back.
“It’s my fucking house!” I exclaimed. Still, I reached down and made sure my towel was secure. All my neighbors were old as fuck. I didn’t need to be flashing any of them. “And it’s my dick! I can do what I want with it.”
At that precise moment, Ellen and her other side neighbor, Maxine Brentwood, happened to be walking past. Both women stopped. And fucking stared.
Jesus fucking Christ.
“Have a good afternoon, ladies!” I yelled. I grabbed Roan by the shoulders and yanked him inside all while he fucking laughed his ass off. “Fuck, I’ll never live that down.”
“You look pretty like this, boo,” he teased. “I’m sure they ain’t complaining.”
“Fuck you,” I said. “What the hell are you doing here?”
Instead of saying a fucking word, Roan dragged me in for a hug. Hug was an understatement. The man was practically crushing me with how tight he held on. I should’ve seen this one coming.
“I’m sorry.” I pat him on the back. “I should’ve fucking called.”
“Declan’s kept me updated,” he muttered. “He’s the only reason I wasn’t kicking down your fucking door sooner.”
“Yeah but still.” I kept patting him because what the hell else was I supposed to do? The man had a fucking death grip on me, which was fucking awkward, considering the state of my uncooperative dick—a fact he fucking knew. “Can we stop fucking hugging now? My dick is still hard.”
“That sounds like a you problem.” He smirked but let me go nonetheless. “You and me, young man, are going to sit down and have a fucking chat.”
“Young man?” I scoffed. “You’re like five years older, you furry fuck.”
“Hey, now,” he cracked a fucking grin, “listen to Daddy Roan or I’ll send you to your fucking room.”
“Jesus fucking Christ.” I chuckled. This fucking man.
“Hey, Ian, did you get—” Genevieve’s words devolved to a loud shriek as she scurried right back up the stairs—completely fucking naked. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
“Sorry, baby girl!” I yelled up the stairs. Fuck, I’d probably never get her back down. Hell, she was probably up there packing her bags to leave the fucking country.
“Who knew sweet little Ginny Byrne was so fucking pierced?” Roan commented.
“Talk about my wife naked once more and I’ll send you back to Iron Falls in fucking pieces,” I snarled. I grabbed a couch pillow and hit him with it to emphasize my point. Hard.
“Are we naked pillow fighting now?” He laughed and tossed it back at me. “Give me a chance to get fucking naked, you furry shit.”
“You keep your goddamn clothes on,” I retorted when he reached for the hem of his shirt. Going straight to the kitchen to make an apology cup of coffee, I ordered over my shoulder, “Get your furry ass outside. Give me a few minutes to talk my wife out of moving to the fucking moon or something.”
“Baby girl,” I began as I set the mug of apology coffee on the nightstand. Hidden under all the blankets in our bed, Genevieve didn’t say a word. I sat next to her and patted the mound until I found her under it. “Baby girl, take off the blankets, please.”
“Let’s move to the North Pole,” she whined. Yeah, she was plotting our move already.
“Sounds cold.”
“South Pole?”
“Still fucking cold.”
“Australia?”
“Have you googled the fucking spiders? No thank you,” I said. “I’m not living on a fucking continent where everything tries to kill you. I’m scary but not that fucking scary.”
