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Nothing.
Not that I expected anything.
“We missed you today,” I said. Hiking my skirt up, I made myself comfortable on the floor. I could hear Killian let himself into the apartment and get into an immediate argument with the cats. Closing my eyes, I settled for giving him the blow-by-blow of the night. “Killian said the word fuck in his vows. You probably heard that part. What you didn’t hear was how Maeve chewed him out afterward.”
“Where’s the fucking cat food?” Killian demanded in a hush at the end of the hall. I smiled at the way he carted Maxwell around like it was his job.
“Cabinet above the stove,” I told him.
“How the fuck do I feed cats? Do I just… throw it at them? Just leave it on the ground? What the fuck do I do?” he asked.
“Mix half a can of wet food with a small scoop of dry food. One per cat,” I instructed. He gave me a thumbs-up and disappeared. “Declan convinced Roan that we needed a chicken. I don’t know how he did, but at one point, one of Henry’s chickens ended up in our reception. Raven gave me a tattoo. I think it’ll be my only tattoo, but I love it. Sam did the electric slide—like a full-on electric slide. No one knew he could. And the cake! Oh, the cake, Nolan. I ate so much cake. Actually… I only ate cake. Probably should’ve eaten more than just that. I brought you some though. With extra frosting like you like.”
As always, I waited. I gave him room to say something despite knowing it wouldn’t happen. I wanted him to feel like he could if he was ready.
“Did you know it’s been a year since Declan and Raven met?” I continued after several minutes. “It’s wild to think. I can’t believe what this year has been like. It didn’t turn out how I thought it would. So much has happened. I can’t even begin to describe what I feel.”
More silence.
I sighed. I didn’t know what to say whenever I sat here. I wanted so much to make an impact with him. At this point, I would’ve taken anything from him. Smiling, I listened to Killian argue with cats as he tried to feed them. The man wasn’t a cat person, but he was trying so hard to do right by them.
“You looked beautiful,” Nolan whispered. I froze. Oh, he spoke! My heart lurched into my throat.
“I love you,” I told him while I knew he was listening. “I love you, and I’m here for you. I hope you know that. When you’re ready, I’m here.”
Again… nothing.
I just wanted to take it all away.
I glanced up as Killian joined me. He sat on the floor across from me, his hand resting on my calf, and offered me a sympathetic smile.
“Number?” he asked me softly. I gave him a ghost of a smile. One word was such a simple thing, but it was our thing. We didn’t stick to just the calendar. It was our way of gauging moments. We brought it up in pivotal moments, stressful moments, emotional ones, and more. Somehow, it became our way of communicating when words were complicated.
“Four-point-five,” I whispered. My heart was so very broken for Nolan. I missed him so much. And the guilt. I couldn’t get rid of the guilt. “You?”
“About the same,” Killian said. His grip on my leg tightened for comfort.
“Can we stay? Just a little bit longer?”
“Anything your heart desires, baby girl.”
Epilogue
Killian
Hurry!” I laughed.
“Ian!” Genevieve exclaimed breathlessly. I glanced over my shoulder to see her hiking up her dress. Thank fuck for Raven. My third surprise for Genevieve had been a gorgeous fucking pair of snow boots. The goddamn things sparkled, but they also kept my wife’s feet warm. Considering we were running hand-in-hand across the lawn at Waverly’s Farm in a layer of snow and slush, they were a damn good gift. “What if he’s home?”
“I have it on good authority that Mr. Waverly leaves Cedar Harbor right after he closes the farm for the season. He doesn’t come back until March.”
“Declan?”
“Yeah. Don’t stop!” My hand tightened on hers as I tugged her around the side of Mr. Waverly’s house. The bright moon overhead and the white snow fucking helped, but it was still dark. I slowed so she wouldn’t fall. I had to get this next part just right. “Okay… stand… right here.”
I ran my hands over the sleeves of my leather jacket. The fucking thing swallowed her petite frame, but that dress and my leather jacket were a sight my dick fucking appreciated.
“Now, I know you asked me to do this whole thing at the club, but I’m fucking hoping you’ll give me a little leeway,” I said. I reached inside her coat and took out a jewelry box. Those pretty eyes found mine, and her teeth sank into her bottom lip. So goddamn sexy. “I hated working for Mr. Waverly, and I hated that Declan wouldn’t let me buy only donuts with my paycheck. Though, I stole a fuck ton of donuts. We won’t tell him that part.”
