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“I hate you, you fucking dick.”
“Welcome home.” Declan grinned as he grabbed a box out of my jeep. “Grab your shit and let’s go.”
What a fucking douchebag. I shuddered one more time. Fuck, I needed to scrub my brain of that memory.
My room hadn’t changed—I wasn’t sure why that surprised me. Maybe I’d thought Mom would finally clear everything out. Most of my shit had left with me when I moved in with Genevieve, but some stuff I’d left behind. My blankets, some old t-shirts and knick-knacks, and a broken guitar. Shit, I didn’t need anymore—shit Mom could’ve easily tossed it all away but hadn’t. Instead, she’d kept the room together as if waiting for me to come back. The sheets were cleaned, the furniture was dusted, and the room was organized. If I went into my brothers’ rooms, did they all look this… preserved?
Fuck, that couldn’t have been good for her. She needed to move on too. It was one thing to have a place for us to stay when we visited, but it was something altogether different for her to hold on to our childhoods. It couldn’t be healthy for her.
The only thing I didn’t recognize in the room was a gift box on the dresser. What the fuck? There was no way in hell Mom got me a coming home present. That wasn’t her style. Pancakes and unwanted conversations were.
“It’s from Raven,” Declan said as he came through the door, dropping my suitcase next to the dresser.
“Why?” I asked, but he only shrugged.
“She likes you,” he replied. “That and she was giggling incessantly at three in the fucking morning over whatever the hell is in there.”
“Language!” Mom hollered from downstairs.
“See? I’m not the only one.” I cracked a fucking grin. Grabbing the box, I took off the lid and tossed it aside. Inside the box was a black and white flannel shirt with a note instructing me to pair it with my leather pants. Sad day for her. I’d gotten rid of my leather pants. Underneath the flannel, however, was a black distressed t-shirt with a gray skull and flower design. With it were the words villains unite. Completely bewildered, I demanded, “When the hell did she have time to get this made?”
“She doesn’t sleep well,” Declan said. There wasn’t an ounce of fucking humor in his voice as he did. “I think she made a matching one for herself, but don’t quote me on that.”
Oh, Jesus fuck. That shouldn’t have fucking surprised me as much as it did. I had a feeling life around Raven Woods was a wild adventure comparable to the fucking shit I pulled.
“You doing okay?” I asked quietly while setting the box aside and giving Declan my full attention. He looked fucking tired and worn down. “You’re looking a little worse for wear.”
“I’m old, Killian. I’m old and I need a nap.”
“Okay, Grandpa.” I rolled my eyes. “I’m sure your fiancé loves being married to someone old as shit.”
“With age comes experience,” Declan shot back with a cocky grin. “Trust me, she’s not complaining about the experience.”
“Gross.” I gagged, being as dramatic as possible. “Things I don’t need to know. Can you even get it up? Need some Viagra for your birthday?”
“Going to share your supply?” he asked. Fuck. I walked right into that one. My pause made him laugh. “Get your shit together and let’s get to the house.”
“We need to get my bike down from your truck.”
“You’re not riding your bike to the house.”
“Try and fucking stop me.” I had a few good weeks before the weather wasn’t nearly as bike-friendly. If he thought I wasn’t going to spend every minute possible on it while I could, he had another thing coming.
“It’s in the middle of the woods!” he exclaimed.
“Semantics,” I scoffed. “My girl can take anything I give her.”
“All right, but I’m not towing your ass out of the mud when you get stuck,” Declan said. “I’ll meet you downstairs.”
As if knowing I needed a minute, he left me to stare at the old furniture. My heart hammered in my chest unsteadily, making my wolf riot wildly. The urge to climb out the window and disappear into the woods was strong.
Coming home was one thing. Even if I didn’t want to, I could handle Mom’s talks over pancakes. I could handle the flood of memories and deal with everything that had happened in this house.
But facing my pack? That was a different matter altogether. I’d just vanished on them. I had to answer the questions I didn’t want to and protect Genevieve in the process. I’d take her secrets with me to the grave, but what would the cost be this time? What else was I willing to give up for her?
What did I even have left to give?
Chapter 37
