AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Pushing away from the post, I started for the stairs. My gaze collided with Genevieve’s for a brief moment. That tiny smile she offered as reassurance did wonders to ease the galloping of my heart. If only she understood what she did to me.
I tore my attention away, putting my focus where it needed to be. I stepped down the stairs and stood next to my brothers. My gaze slid over the quiet crowd, taking in faces I’d grown up with.
Wolves who had helped raise me.
Wolves who had relied on me.
Wolves I’d let down when I disappeared.
I couldn’t do that again.
“First and foremost, I want to apologize,” I said loudly while shoving my hands in my pockets. My chest tightened, and I dug into my vulnerability just a tiny fucking bit to talk openly with the pack. “Three years ago, I left Cedar Harbor without a word. I know there were a lot of things being said and rumors going around town about me, about my… about the situation with Genevieve. I needed space and time to take care of myself. I’ve spent the last three years living with the Ironwoods. Beyond that, I’m not answering any questions about what happened. I’m asking that you respect my privacy and that you respect Genevieve’s privacy about the matter.”
Yeah, that request didn’t sit well with some of them. I could see it on the fucking faces. Hopefully, they’d leave her the hell alone and come to me with their stupid gossip-fueled questions.
“Secondly,” I forced myself to continue before the anger and frustration of their nosiness got to me. I pulled the following words from memory. I’d recited them a few hundred times on the drive to make sure I got them right. “I, Killian Donovan Byrne, hereby accept my position as a leader of the pack. I promise to lead alongside my brothers with compassion and mindfulness in all matters related to the pack. I promise to hear your worries and concerns and to do whatever is within my power to ease them. I promise to be available and vulnerable for the pack to create a sanctuary and safe haven for all members, new and old. I promise to put the needs of the pack above my own as I work with my brothers to build and ensure the future of this pack. And if I cannot fulfill my duties to the pack, I promise to step down rather than stand in the way of the pack.”
The utter lack of sound as I finished was overwhelming—a fucking taunt as if I couldn’t be a just and fair leader of the pack like my brothers. And deep down, I was fucking terrified they were right.
Chapter 41
Killian
Amisty breeze ruffled my hair, and water droplets clung to my skin. I breathed in deeply, letting the sea salt fill my lungs. Icy waves lapped lazily against my shins and soaked my jeans as I stood in the ocean. The quiet rushing of water and soft calls of gulls were the only sounds for miles.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
Just… exist.
For just a moment, all I needed was to stand in the ocean as its waves tugged gently at my legs. I waded in deeper until the water was over my knees. I didn’t give a fuck that it was cold.
I needed this place and everything it offered. Thoughts of getting lost at sea and letting the water wash away the intensity of my emotions were comforting. Maybe a little morbid, but I didn’t fucking care. The idea of floating out with the tide and just existing in a space without conflict, without doubt, without pain… that appealed to me.
What I wouldn’t fucking do for one moment of true peace—a feat that seemed impossible when a goddamn war raged inside me.
“You always did love this place.” Mom’s voice pulled me from my thoughts, and I turned. She stood on the shore. Even though a clip held her hair back, wild strands drifted across her face. She wrapped her heavy cardigan tighter around her as she offered a smile. That bag of Waverly Farms donuts she tucked under her arm wasn’t missed by me. “Whenever you ran away, I remember we’d search all over town for you, but we’d always find you here. I stopped looking for you when you were a teenager because I knew you were here. You’d always come home when you were ready.”
“Did I really run away that much?” I frowned when she nodded. Fuck me. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay, baby boy,” she said. “You’ve always needed more space than your brothers. As long as you came home, I knew you’d be okay.”
I waded through the water toward her. When I hit the shore, dry sand clung to my numb feet and my jeans. I touched Mom’s shoulder and kissed her cheek as I passed. Putting a decent distance between me and the water, I sat down on the sand. Without hesitation, Mom joined me.
“You were up early this morning.”
“I never went to sleep,” I admitted. What I didn’t tell her was how crappy I fucking felt. Even with my sleep medication in my system, I was so fucking wired. My body felt like shit, and my mind was all over the fucking place. It’d make for a hell of a fucking day.
“I know, baby boy,” Mom said. One glance at her told me that she’d been trying to spare me the admission. Well, fuck. “I brought you donuts from Waverly’s.”
“Thank you,” I replied as I took the bag from her and pulled out a donut. I rolled it between my hands. It was funny how something could become a favorite just because it made you think of someone. Every time I ate one of these damn things, it brought me back to Genevieve feeding me donuts as I walked her home when we were kids. How many donuts had been a part of pivotal memories? Hell, we had them at our wedding instead of cake because they’d become an us thing. I offered one to her, needing the distraction from thoughts of Genevieve. “Do you want one?”
“No, thank you,” she replied. “I’ve got breakfast plans with Declan and Raven later. You could join us, you know. Cade will be there.”
I scoffed and fucking froze under the look Mom gave me.
“Sorry,” I muttered, feeling like a fucking kid again. “I just don’t get their whole… thing.”
