AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Jamie ate it right out of my hand, in one bite, smiling as he chomped. He was a good bro, but the sound of him chewing made my skin crawl. I started for the phone in my pocket to turn up the volume on the ASMR still playing in my ears but was side-tracked by Win’s animated heckling.
“Bro, we were pretty surprised when Kruger told us you earned yourself an overnight by letting loose on the boys in blue.” He smiled so wide his dimple flashed. Leaning in, he pulled his aviators down to glance at me over the top. “Honestly, I’d have voted you least likely to throw a punch.” He slung his arm across Lars’s shoulders, dimple flashing again. “Maybe we should call you million-dollar baby from now on.”
Lars’s pale blue eyes rolled, and he shot off something I couldn’t understand but was clearly snarky as hell in his boyfriend’s direction. His first language was Swedish, and honestly, I liked when he slipped into it. It sounded kinda nice.
“It was one punch,” I muttered, lifting the coffee to my lips.
But it would have been more if Arsen hadn’t been there.
Now that I wasn’t in the moment and completely controlled by the insatiable rage that sometimes stole all rationale, I could think back with more clarity. The caffeine and sugar lining my belly helped with that too.
Arsen pretty much jumped into the middle of me going off, challenged an officer, and then pulled me into his arms. If he hadn’t been there, if he hadn’t whispered in my ear, it could have been so much worse.
I realized then that I owed Arsen for a lot more than just help from his lawyer.
Almost as if my thoughts conjured him up, the double doors to the precinct opened. I knew it was him without even looking. I sensed him on a cellular level as if one night squished on a janky cot together had been enough to condition my energy to recognize his. It freaked me out so much that I jolted, the coffee sloshing out of the opening in the lid and splattering the black plastic with dark brew.
I stared at it, bothered so much by the mess but without a napkin to clean it up. I thought passively about licking it clean. It was what anyone else would do.
I wasn’t anyone else. And the idea of dragging my tongue over a lid that had once been stacked among a hundred like it, probably touched by several hands before it made it to mine, and with a barely there texture to what was supposed to be a smooth surface?
Trauma lattes didn’t taste so good when they tossed themselves back up your throat, bro. Gone was the caramel, and left in its place was a burning acerbic flavor.
And yes, I realized I had to put my lips on the lid to drink it. But that was different.
Swallowing thickly, I fixated hard on those wayward blobs of coffee taunting me on the lid and tried to will them away.
“Arsen,” Jess called, and I looked up as she took a cup that looked identical to mine from Max and went to where he stopped in the middle of the sidewalk. “Trauma lattes are a tradition,” she told him, holding out the coffee.
“For Elite,” Kruger snarked under his breath. “He ain’t Elite.”
I gave him a questioning look.
He made a face. “Look, forget everything I suggested about you two. I forbid it.”
Instead of worrying about the implication behind his words, I worried about who heard them, quickly gazing around to all our friends. A few—okay, the girls—were actively pretending not to have heard. A few of the guys looked thoughtful, and Max? He was staring.
My left eyelid started to twitch.
Fingers tightening around the cup, I closed my eyes briefly and exhaled. When they reopened, it twitched again. It felt like an irregular heartbeat that made the thin skin of my eyelid jump. It happened again, and I started to count.
One. Two… But it wasn’t synchronized. There was no pattern to settle into, so the comfort I’d been seeking was nowhere to be found.
“Thanks for the coffee, Jess,” I heard Arsen say, but I didn’t look around. I was too overloaded.
A few other voices joined in, but the conversation was out of reach. The pulsing in my eye too annoying, the mess on the lid of my latte bothersome.
I couldn’t drink the coffee because the second I tilted the cup, it would slip and drip more. Maybe I’d just use the sleeve of my hoodie to mop it up. But then my shirt would be dirty…
I worried over the lid so much that the splashes started to meld into one blob as I stared. The only time they separated was when my eye twitched.
Suddenly, the object of my obsession was gone, replaced with something that looked just like it. Except the replacement wasn’t messy. The spill was gone, the black lid completely clean and dry as if there had never been a mess at all.
I did a double take, thinking perhaps my riddled mind was playing tricks, but it was still the same.
“You can drink it now.” A low voice assured me, and I whipped my head up, coming face to face with Arsen.
My eyelid twitched, but I remained focused on his face. A hint of stubble shadowed his jaw, and I wondered what it would feel like to rub the pads of my fingers against it. If I would like it or recoil.
