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“Ask your other question.”
He knows I have more on my mind.
My voice comes out small, unsure how he will like this next one, “Was it hard? Killing your mom or forcing her to kill herself like that?”
Killing my father was terrifying at first when I thought about it, but once I started, I couldn’t stop. But he knew his mom his entire life, I knew my dad for all of a couple weeks. He was my father by genetics only. There was no relationship or emotional attachment other than hatred when I thought of him. For everything he put me and my mom through.
Looking at E, he drops his head, playing with his thumbs in his lap, “No. She did this to herself, it’s exactly how she deserved to go.”
Tilting his head ever so slightly, his eyes squinted as if he were in pain, “She helped him. She brought you to him to be cleansed, to be fucking violated like that. She could have left. But she stayed, turning her back on her fucking kid by helping him. Don’t for a fucking minute feel bad for her. I don’t.”
Chills run through me at his words. Goosebumps prickle along my skin.
He’s right. She chose my father, a delusional narcissist, over her own son.
She truly believed in all the bullshit.
He did the right thing. She was no longer worthy of being his mom.
“I won't, I don’t, I mean.” Reassuring him.
Placing my hand in his, on his lap, rubbing the soft skin on the back of his hand, I need to get this out. “Thank you.”
Gripping my fingers, he looks at me confused, the shadows from the lighting outside only show me part of his face, “I protect what’s mine. You never need to thank me for that, Rain.”
“And I protect what’s mine.”
My comment makes him chuckle, “Baby, I don’t need to be protected. The people who end up on my radar do, but it’s already too late for them once I know their name, so it’s of no use. But thank you, for wanting to protect me. No one's ever said that to me before.”
As strong as he is, there is also a broken boy hiding deep inside.
I won’t pry, not tonight. But one day, I hope he opens up more to me about it.
ELIJAH
“Are you okay?”
I don’t know what possessed me to ask that. It’s never been something I’ve said before - but with her - I want to know. I need to or I have to figure out a way to make sure she is ok. Her hand still clasped in mine, I take her lead and rub the back of her hand with my own thumb. It had a calming, soothing effect on me so I hope it has the same on her.
Being in her presence always does something to me.
“Yeah, I think so. Can we go see my mom? I want to talk to her about tonight.” Rain’s demeanor changes, her energy has gone from uncertain of how she should feel to content, somber perhaps, and now she seems like a little girl eager to tell her mom about her day.
“Let’s get you changed first, it’s too cold for you to go out in just that. How does that sound, little bat?”
Her hand leaves mine and it cups my face. Her body leans over the center console, leaning in towards me. Her eyes take me in just as her perfectly pouty lips press against mine. Closing my eyes, I grip the back of her head, pushing us closer together. This kiss isn’t ravenous or rough, instead it is soft and delicate. Something so strange to me yet so fucking familiar, reassuring, home. My heart drops briefly to the bottom of my stomach, it’s from the initial discomfort. I’m not used to this kindness when being intimate like this.
We have had soft, quick pecks in our short time together but it’s still taking me time to adjust. I don’t fight it. I give in.
This is the kind of thing I never knew I needed, but again, she has shocked me by showing me I do.
Breaking our kiss, Rain pulls back just slightly. Her lips are still hovering over mine, and her warm breath moves across my skin.
Her hand is still pressed gently against my skin, my hand still on the back of her head and our foreheads lean into each other. A tingle of electricity is immediately felt as our skin touches.
“Let’s go inside, my sweet boy.”
Inhaling her sweet scent of vanilla and coconut mixed with the smokey smell from the fire, I nod my head against hers. “Whatever you want, little bat.”
