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After I found out Chase was cheating on me, it finally hit me like a ton of bricks. I shouldn’t have to change any part of myself to please my partner. They should love every broken piece of me, no matter how sharp or jagged that piece may be.
The downside to that revelation is I’m not entirely sure who I am anymore. I’ve spent so much time trying to fit someone else’s mold, I have no idea who I am on my own.
“I know I do. And because of all of that, I’m totally out of my element here.”
“Can I… If I read your conversation, I might be able to tell…”
His offer is hesitant. Probably because I normally keep my dating life to myself. But this situation is different from anything else I’ve experienced. I truly like Sam. If he is flirting and is potentially interested in more, I’ll feel way more confident in myself.
“Go for it. I’ll take all the help I can get.” I hand over my phone and watch Nolan read through my texts to Sam. His lips twitch several times as if he’s laughing at whatever we said, but he doesn’t say a word until he passes my phone back to me.
“Okay, first of all, Sam is hilarious, and I want to hang out with him now.”
“No, if you hang out with him, he’ll realize how boring I am.”
Nolan scoffs. “You are not boring. You’ve just created a life you’re comfortable in. That’s beside the point, though. Sam is 100 percent into you.”
“You’re sure?”
“Without a doubt.”
My eyes bug out. “Then what the hell do I do now?”
Nolan laughs at me, and I find myself giggling with him. “Just be yourself. It looked to me like you’re not struggling to find things to talk about. He likes you, so maybe flirt a little harder and see how he responds.”
I turn over what Nolan said while we clean up dinner. If I take a step outside of my anxiety, I know Sam has been flirting with me. He’s been flirting from the moment I sat down beside him at Donna’s. Now, I just need to shore up my confidence a bit to start flirting back.
Nolan leaves soon after dinner is put away, and I go through my typical evening routine. I watch the news for a few minutes—just long enough to stay up to date, but not too long that I end up depressed. I do a quick workout with the little bit of equipment I have in my office, and then I shower before bed.
I’m wrapping a towel around my waist when my phone vibrates on the vanity with an incoming call. I swallow hard at seeing Sam’s name on my screen. Why the hell would he be calling me at this time of night?
Well… it’s only nine-thirty, so I guess it’s not technically that late.
“Hey…” I clear my scratchy throat. “Hey, what’s up?”
“Hey, Carter. Is this a bad time?”
“No, it’s fine. I just got out of the shower.”
It’s Sam’s turn to clear his throat. Is he picturing me in my towel? What does he look like when he gets out of the shower? I can imagine the water droplets running between his pecs. I’d give anything to run my tongue along his abs to lick every drop.
Fuck, why did I have to imagine that right now?
“Oh, good. Um, that’s hot. I mean,” he says loudly, trying to cover his slip, “I’m glad I’m not interrupting your evening. Anyway, I was calling because I wanted to ask you something.”
My smile is wide at his stammering. His awkwardness has given me the confidence boost I needed. It’s nice to know he doesn’t have any more cool than I do.
“Sure, what’s up?”
“We’ve got our annual fundraiser tomorrow afternoon, and I was wondering if you might want to come. We’ll have food and games, and I’ll be showing off one of our obstacle courses. It should be fun.”
The annual firefighter fundraiser. I completely forgot about it. The whole family went last year to support Tucker. We had a great time. I’m surprised Nolan didn’t say anything about it while he was here. He may not have remembered it’s tomorrow either.
“I’d love to come. You’re going to do the demonstration again this year?”
“You remember me doing it last year?” The surprise is evident in his voice.
Deciding to take this opportunity for what it is, I leap out into the unknown. “Of course, I remember. I haven’t been able to look at suspenders the same ever since.” The image of Sam yanking his suspenders off his shoulders when he finished the course and the way his chest heaved while he caught his breath… I swear it was practically pornographic.
