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“I guess you’re wondering how I allowed that to happen, you being a tough army guy and all,” Finn said and Tyler saw his dark blue eyes had a shine across them now.
He shook his head. “No, Finn, that’s not what I’m wondering at all.”
“Aren’t you?” Finn seemed to need the reassurance and Tyler wanted badly to give it to him.
“No. I’m thinking how happy you seem with Brandon now.”
Finn’s face relaxed into a grin. He blushed. “Oh my God, I love that guy to the moon and back. He’s my everything.”
Tyler smiled.
“I made it so hard for him when I came here. He wanted to be my friend and I needed the help but I pushed him away over and over again, and I regret that. I want to try and pay forward everything he did for me.” He looked at Tyler expectantly.
Tyler didn’t like the focus coming back to him. He remembered Holden’s words. You look like you need the charity. He lowered his gaze and found himself looking at the empty end of his pants leg. Losing a leg seemed to have robbed him of his identity. As though part of his psyche was thrown away when the limb had been discarded as useless. He still didn’t know how to deal with it, when he should have just been grateful that he was alive. But his identity had been wrapped up in being a soldier. Now he was nothing.
“It’s okay,” Finn said softly. “If you want to talk, I’m here. If you don’t, we could just hang out. Any time you want. Brandon’s a great cook.” He gave a laugh.
Tyler did his best to smile. Finn’s company was fine, but he couldn’t imagine being invited over for a pity dinner with the local sheriff. Most definitely not.
“When I’m not at the diner, I’m painting,” Finn said. “Do you have any hobbies?”
Tyler hesitated. “No,” he said, because the thing he’d once enjoyed above all else wasn’t really a hobby anymore, as he couldn’t afford to do it now. It wasn’t a hobby that he liked talking about anyway for fear he might get laughed at. He’d definitely never told anyone in the army.
“Do you like reading?”
“Yeah.” Tyler had been a voracious reader, but even that had fallen by the wayside because the demons inside his head wouldn’t stop for one minute to allow him to lose himself in someone else’s world.
“I have tons of books. I could lend you some of your landlord’s books. He’s good.”
Tyler scowled, although he was certainly curious. He didn’t even know what sort of stuff Holden wrote.
Finn smiled. “Hey, if he’s said sorry, you guys are okay, right?”
Tyler shrugged.
“Seems to me that you might be good for each other. Two guys in need of company…”
“I never said I was gay,” Tyler blurted out.
Finn looked startled. He flushed. “I didn’t actually mean it that way,” he said.
It was Tyler’s turn to redden.
“I just meant…” Finn trailed off. Then he smiled. “He is crazy hot for an older guy though, right? Got that George Clooney vibe going on.”
Tyler couldn’t stop the heat rising further up from his shirt collar. “He’s not really my type,” he mumbled.
Finn grinned. “So you are gay, and he is your type?”
Tyler threw a cushion at him and they both laughed. They drank some coffee without speaking.
“Come over for dinner,” Finn said. “I want to see what you’re like after a couple of beers. A riot, I reckon.”
Tyler smiled against his will. “I’ll let you know.”
“I won’t let you hide away here.” Finn stood. “I’ll get going, but I’ll be back. Now why don’t you go over and see your hot landlord? You both need a shoulder to cry on.”
Tyler said nothing. He took his crutches and climbed up, hopping towards the door. Finn followed him out and Tyler rested on his crutches and watched as he climbed into his car, a black Toyota. Finn started the engine. “I’ll see you soon,” he said through the open window. “My treat next time you come to the diner.”
