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“Derri.”
“I’m not gonna make it easy for you.” Derri walked up to him, standing chest to chest as he took a deep drag on the cigarette and then exhaled. “I didn’t do shit wrong, that was all you.” He gestured at Zander. “You were the one who made promises to me.” He slapped a hand to his chest. “You promised me a life, a future together. You said we would do this together but you didn’t keep your word. Shouldn’t I feel a way about it? I have the right to feel fucked up and to be hurt that you broke my heart.” His Adam’s apple shifted when he swallowed. “I’m not leaving,” he whispered, lowering himself slowly to his knees, prostrating himself before Zander. “So do what you have to do.”
Fuck. He’d known the stance Derri would take, but he still bled having it confirmed. “I’m sorry that I hurt you. I didn’t set out to do that but I know I did.” Zander touched him, stroking his fingers over Derri’s short hair. “I wish I could’ve made it easier for you.” He inhaled, then released it slowly. “I don’t trust you around them,” he confessed. “I can’t trust you to protect them, to have their best interest and safety in mind, Derri. I see the way you look at them and I don’t trust that you won’t hurt them and that’s—” He trembled, legs unsteady suddenly, so he clung to Derri, clasping his head in both hands and bending forward to touch his forehead to Derri’s. “I loved you so much,” he whispered. “You were my best friend, my partner, my confidant. Without you, I wouldn’t be here. And I wouldn’t have them.”
“I only ever loved you.”
When Zander lifted his head, he found Derri gazing up at him with his blue eyes wet. The pieces of Zander that still loved him, that would’ve killed and died for Derri at one point, rebelled at the sight.
“I only ever wanted you. While you were gone, I counted down the minutes until I got to have you again.” Derri’s lips twisted, bitterness flooding his gaze. “But you found them and you forgot about me. You forgot about we…” He motioned between the two of them. “I can’t accept that. I can’t accept them. I never will.”
There was nothing left to say except… “I’m sorry.”
Derri stared at him, the cigarette between his lips forgotten. Silence spread around them, heavy but accepting. “I love you, Kian.”
“I love you too, Derri. Always will.”
Derri didn’t flinch when Zander drew his gun. No, he held Zander’s gaze as Zander pulled the trigger, putting a bullet between his eyes. His body jerked and dropped backward and Zander went to his knees, sitting on the floor and pulling Derri’s body into his lap, smoothing his hair down.
While tears dropped onto a dead Derri’s forehead.
The bedroom was in darkness when Scotty rolled over and opened his eyes. Other than Vince’s snores, he couldn’t make out any other sounds. But they were alone, he and Vince.
No Zander around.
He got out of the bed, careful not to wake Vince as he made his way out of the bedroom, clad in only his underwear. Hesitant footsteps on the cold floor brought him out into the living room. The entire place was in darkness, though he easily made out the still figure seated on the couch, his back to Scotty.
“Zander?” Scotty approached him, turning on a nearby lamp as he took in the other man.
Zander was shirtless, dressed in just shorts, and he sat with his head thrown back, eyes closed. He could’ve been mistaken for sleeping except his body wasn’t relaxed at all. And there was a stillness to him that immediately put Scotty on alert.
“Zander?” He went down onto his knees between Zander’s parted thighs, touching his face. Dark lashes lifted slowly and Scotty almost gasped at the dark grief that stared back at him. “What happened? What’s wrong?” What could be the cause of the almost tangible heartbreak that bled from the other man’s eyes? It felt foreign, wrong somehow, seeing the expression on Zander’s face. He was the strong one out of the three of them. So what could have him looking like that?
Zander just stared at him. Violence seemed to seep from his pores, thickening the air around them. Scotty had to pause and catch his breath. And he had to also remind himself that despite the obvious danger that whirled in the air, Zander wouldn’t hurt him.
He would never.
That bolstered his courage. Made him ask again, “What’s wrong? Talk to me.” Softer this time, leaning forward to touch his forehead to Zander’s chest.
“You should go back to bed.”
He’d never heard Zander sound like that. Cold and detached. Voice like gravel. As if he were chewing on bullets, ready to spit them out. But maybe Scotty was crazy, because underneath the bloodied words Zander just uttered, Scotty swore he heard pain. Anguish. He shook his head. “I’m not tired. I want to be here with you.” This was where he was supposed to be after all. With Zander. “Tell me what’s got you like this.” There wasn’t much he could contribute to their unique relationship. Vince was the good guy, the cop. Zander was the powerful one, adept at solving problems, wrapped up in danger as if it were the most expensive and luxurious cashmere coat.
And Scotty was…Scotty.
He wanted to be more than that, though. He wanted Zander and Vince to see that he didn’t need hand-holding or to be treated like something breakable. He could be who they needed.
“Not now, Scotty,” Zander said, dismissing him. “I need to be alone.”
Maybe he should heed the warning in that statement, but… “No. I’m not leaving you like this.” Whatever this was. If Zander didn’t want to talk then Scotty would just sit with him and lend him his presence. He shifted to get up off his knees, but Zander’s hand shot out, grabbing him by the throat.
Scotty froze, eyes flying wide.
Zander lifted him, just by his throat, until they were face-to-face. The other man’s eyes blazed with an unholy light that should frighten Scotty. The tight grip on his throat should frighten him too. But all he felt was the hot pulse of arousal. He didn’t know he liked being treated roughly until that moment. Hadn’t known that he could taste the unchecked lust and darkness that Zander emitted and want more.
“I don’t want to talk,” Zander snarled in his face. “If you’re tryna stay, then I’m tryna fuck. Dassit.”
Scotty couldn’t hold back his moan. Not at those words. Not with the way Zander’s fingers tightened even more around his throat. He couldn’t breathe. No, he didn’t know what had put Zander in the state that he was in, but it was clear he needed an outlet. Scotty could be that. He wanted to be that.
