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“Come on. Tell me the truth. There’s no way that you’d still be here now if you hadn’t already set up the extra tables and pulled out everything Margie needed.”
George’s life orbited around his family, and the way he adored his wife was…everything I’d ever wanted in a partner. Unfortunately, watching their relationship had set the bar really high for me, and I wasn’t sure I’d ever meet the right person. Especially after Alan’s bullshit.
“Yes, I was up until two-thirty in the morning checking off every box on the list my wife had for me. Which is why”—he leaned forward—“I noticed that you sent over your report at two-twenty-two AM. Kevin, what the hell, man?”
“What’s the problem?” I asked, confused.
George picked up his pen and started tapping it on the side of the desk. “Look. We need to talk about…” He trailed off as he bit the inside of his cheek.
Dread pooled in my stomach. We’d been given the option to work remotely a couple of years ago. I knew most of our small staff were in the office more than I came in, but unless my mom was in town, or it was for our weekly meeting, I had to bring Lexi with me. I’d thought I’d been doing a good job of staying ahead of my projects and deadlines, but while George was my boss, he didn’t own the tractor company we worked for, so maybe the owner had an issue? “Shit. What am I doing wrong, George? Let me have it. Am I losing my job?”
He dropped the pen, frowning at me. “No, you worrywart. It’s nothing like that. Hell, you get more accomplished working from home than anyone else has. But that’s the problem, my friend. Since Lexi was born, I think your productivity has gone up instead of down. I went in this morning and checked your logs. You’re sending in reports at two, three, four o’clock in the morning, days before they’re due. When are you sleeping?”
I felt my back go up, but I couldn’t help it. My mom had been needling me about the same thing. She offered not to go back to Florida so she could stay and take care of Lexi, but that wasn’t fair. Mom had done her job and raised me already.
When my father’s health started declining, they’d moved to Florida for better weather and so they could be near friends of theirs who’d already made the move. They’d planned on spending their latter years together for as long as I could remember. Luckily, they’d been in a position for Dad to retire early so they could get a start on those plans. In the last years of his life, they’d created a home and expanded their friend group down south. It wasn’t fair to expect her to uproot and come back here any more than she already did to see her granddaughter.
“I sleep,” I said stiffly.
He shook his head. “I don’t know how. Look, I’m not trying to give you a hard time.” He flipped the glasses that he’d still been hiding in his lap onto the desk and leaned onto his forearms. “As your boss, I couldn’t be happier. But as your friend, I’m worried. Margie’s worried.”
“Margie?” Why in the world would she be worried? I came into the office one morning a week for a staff meeting, and most of the time, she kept Lexi during them. My coworkers loved when I brought my daughter in and spoiled her rotten, but now that she was a little older, it was harder for everyone to concentrate when she was around. Her personality demanded attention.
“Yes, you know Margie, my wife. She doesn’t understand how you’re doing it with no help. We functioned like a well-oiled machine when we were both home, but I worked all day, and you know she still had things she was involved in. So we hired help. You know that’s how we met our friend Josie. We found her through a service, and now she’s become like part of the family. She still stays with the kids when we go away.”
I shook my head. “But you and Margie had three children really close together.” And they were great kids. My friends were doing a wonderful job as parents. “I only have Lexi.”
George’s big laugh barreled out of him, and I smiled despite my irritation at our conversation. His laughter had always been loud and contagious. It was one of the first things I’d noticed about him when I’d been hired on here at twenty-two years old.
We’d gone from coworkers to fast friends, and we’d both risen up in the small company through the years. He and Margie had several years on me, but they were as spirited and fun now as they’d been the day I met them. “Your daughter is like having three mini-people. I love her, but she was born with excess energy.”
He wasn’t wrong there, but shouldn’t I be able to handle one child—my only baby—by myself without help? “I hear what you’re saying, I do, but I think I’m managing fine.”
He held up his hand. “I don’t want to argue with you. I’m not saying that you’re not getting along, but Margie gave me the name and number of the place she used. I think you should think about it.” He slid a piece of paper across the desk toward me. “Listen, we all know that bastard ex of yours has made this a touchy subject for you. No one is saying that you’re failing or not rocking at this fatherhood thing because you are. We just want to see you get some sleep and be able to enjoy your time with Lexi without being dead on your feet from working all night. You know?”
Forcing myself to relax, I exhaled and leaned forward to take the paper. “I hear you. Mom’s been saying the same thing.”
He nodded. “I know. We talked about it on Christmas Eve.”
I stuck my tongue out at him. “I should’ve known you’ve all been conspiring behind my back.”
His head bobbled. “Yeah, you really should’ve. Now get out of here. I wanted to finish this one thing up while the office is quiet before I head home. And you need to get finished and home, too. My wife expects you guys tonight, if only to be able to say goodbye to your mom.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” With a smile, I held up the agency name and number so he’d know there were no hard feelings from everyone poking into my business. “Thanks for this.”
“Welcome. Now use that number.”
I made my way into the space I shared with two of my coworkers. They worked under me, but only Brian was in the office most days since he was the technician who dealt with any inner-office computer issues.
Sitting at my desk, I stared at the piece of paper. I’d been determined to raise Lexi from home and on my own. With the flexibility of my job, I hadn’t expected that to be a problem. And it wasn’t as long as I didn’t mind never sleeping again. Or at least for the next three years when she’d start elementary school. But I’d made the decision when Alan left that I could raise my child on my own. Shouldn’t I be able to push through and do the do?
I understood George and Margie’s concern, but I only had one child to their three. Yeah, Lexi was a handful, but it was me and her, a team. Sighing, I dropped my head to my desk. No, Lexi was a toddler. My baby was amazing, but she couldn’t, nor should she, help me raise her. I’d told everyone I’d given up hope of finding a partner, so I’d pursued having Lexi alone. But the reality was, when I started dating Alan, I’d been excited thinking I’d have someone by my side. I wanted someone to share this journey with. Someone around to see the silly things Lexi did and to laugh with me after I’d had to discipline her for saying something so wildly inappropriate—and incredibly funny—that I’d had to bite my lips to hide my chuckle from her, but I lost it once she wasn’t looking.
But I also wanted companionship. Why couldn’t I have met CJ instead of Alan back when I still would’ve been free to explore getting to know him. I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about him since our encounter, and it wasn’t because his house was big and beautiful, or even because his cock was, too, but he’d been so warm and genuine. He hadn’t made me feel like an idiot for walking around with a stain on my shirt. In fact, he’d made me feel more desirable and wanted than anyone had since those early days with my college boyfriend when he’d just come out and couldn’t keep his hands off of me. Before I found out that he really just couldn’t keep his hands off anyone with a penis and a pulse.
If I contacted this agency, maybe I’d have a little more time to…to sleep. Dating wasn’t in the cards, and I didn’t have CJ’s number anyway. I needed to push him out of my head and focus on Lexi and my job.
CHAPTER FOUR
