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“And I’ll stay away from the D.C Senator your family has ties to. Only him, I’m not stopping all my plans for your benefit.”
“I wouldn’t expect you to,” I agree. “What else?”
“I’ll help you with the Colton’s but you have to figure out a plan that ensures that it’s not traced back to me. I’m not losing an alliance with their family because of this.”
“I’ll work on an airtight plan,” I assure her. “Is that all?”
She looks her lips, her eyes growing a little shifty. A smirk involuntarily reaches my lips as I wonder what else she has to say. Her terms so far haven’t been more than I expected. Katerina inhales softly, giving me an inclination that what she wants is something big.
“I-” she hesitates. “I want to see him.”
For the longest moment I just stare at her, uncomprehending. Then I’m taking in the look on her face and the implication of her words. I’m unable to stop a burst of laughter from escaping. Of all the things I thought she would ask, I wasn’t expecting that.
“I’m sorry, what?” I ask, uncaring that I sound cruel.
Katerina’s jaw is clenched as she repeats herself.
“My son, Alexander. I want to see my son.”
I scoff, my hand going to my hair as I run it through once.
“Unfortunately that might be a little impossible, princess. Especially considering the fact that he thinks you’re dead.”
Her eyes widen and her face immediately grows paler.
“What?”
CHAPTER 9
Katerina
Nine years ago, I made the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make. Leaving my son in the care of his father. Because I had no choice. It sounds like an excuse, and maybe it is but I did my best. I fought, I thought of every possibility where I could keep him with me, but in the end I had to let him go. There were so many moments leading up to me leaving him, so many things involved. Maybe a part of the decision involved my own selfishness but that doesn’t really matter. When I left him, a part of me died.
But at least I knew he was safe. I knew he was loved and he had his father.
I just never considered the fact that he would grow up thinking I was dead. My hand starts to tremble, my heart as well. I don’t care that I’m in front of the one person capable of using my weaknesses against me and winning. I don’t care that I probably shouldn’t be showing this much outward emotion.
One of my first lessons when I started learning how to be a Don was to be stoic all the time. Never to show weakness, pain, suffering. All of that flies out the window. I suddenly can’t breathe, air is trapped somewhere in my chest, my throat tight. A weight starts to settle in my stomach.
Very slowly, I look up at Alexander’s face. My eyes sting as I realize he really has changed. I’m on the verge of a panic attack and he looks like he couldn’t care less. He’s still icy cold. And that more than anything shocks me back into feeling somewhat normal. The weight on my chest starts to loosen, albeit slowly. He doesn’t say a word through it all.
A voice in my mind curses me, calling me weak.
I already know I am. It’s just a matter of getting stronger. But that’s not going to start now.
“You told him I was dead,” I finally manage to say, unable to keep the shakiness from his voice.
Alexander leans forward to grab the cup of coffee I am just now noticing. He takes in a long sip, his expression thoughtful.
“Correct me if I’m wrong, Katerina. But shouldn’t you be grateful? Better he think you’re dead than the fact that you abandoned him,” he spits. “I would have never let my son think that. And in a way I did you a favor. He bears you no ill will. In his mind, his mother was an amazing woman who died when he was only a baby.”
“You lied to him,” I say softly.
“I protected him,” he counters. “I’m sure you wouldn’t even begin to know how it feels, but as a parent, that’s my number one responsibility, making sure he’s not in pain.”
I exhale softly, needing to get a grip on my emotions. Deep down, I understand what he’s saying. Logically, it makes sense. It was the right thing to do. But that doesn’t make it hurt any less. In his mind, his mother is dead. I’m dead to him.
“Do you need a couple of moments?” he asks, green eyes hard. “I’m sure it’s a lot to take in.”
