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Caleb remains silent, but I can see I might be breaking through. He finally says, “She’ll never forgive me. I hurt her too badly.”
“It’s over if you want it to be over. And one more thing. Gwen deserves a good man. I made the mistake once of letting a good woman go. I won’t let it happen again. She’s vulnerable, and if I were to guess, she’ll want to get the hell out of this neighborhood because it would be a constant reminder of you. I’m going to give you one last shot at making this right with her. You’ve got till noon tomorrow, or I’m going to go knock on her door and find out if she wants to relocate to Nevada.” It’s a poke in the gut, but it seems necessary. The longer he waits, the worse it’ll be.
“Don’t even think about,” Caleb says, getting to his feet.
“Don’t throw away a good thing.” I stand too and walk to the front door. “Noon,” I repeat and let myself out.
TWENTY-THREE
Never Again
CALEB
`Three times, I start toward her place, but before I make it out the door, I turn around and sit my ass back down. I hear Mason’s voice in my head over and over. He makes a lot of sense, and I both love him and hate him for calling me out. Mason speaks the truth about me: I’m the fixer.
Whether I chose the job or fell into it, that’s what I became. When Damian, Alex, and Zeke needed me, I was all in to make it right. Supporting my family is nonnegotiable. It’s who I am and what I’m born to do.
But coming as close as I did to losing Gwen rocked me to my very core. I sat and thought of all the men I’ve helped put away. Then I imagined how much they hate me and what they’d do to get even. The idea of any one of those men hurting Gwendolyn makes me sick to my stomach.
Then it dawns on me: they’ve already taken her from me. Not having Gwen as part of my life is excruciating. She makes the bad shit I see every day go away when I see her. Her smile shines bright. Seeing her at my kitchen counter, humming and singing like she doesn’t have a care in the world, makes the harshness of the world bearable. My house is a home with her in it.
I look through the large window, and across the street, I see Mason’s truck. Then I see the clock on the wall. He wasn’t kidding when he said he’d be back. It’s eleven forty-five, and there’s no doubt in my mind that he’ll be out of his car in fifteen minutes, walking up to Gwen’s door and convincing her that a fresh start is what she needs.
Gwen probably hates me. I might go over and make a complete idiot of myself, and she’ll tell me to shove off. And she’d have every right to do so, after what I put her through.
She deserves better than I can give her. I work stupid hours, I’m demanding, and even though I’ll move heaven and earth to keep her safe, I can’t guarantee it. I got one lousy thing to give her: my love. My undying, never-ending, down-to-my-bones love.
Fuck it!
I storm out the front door of my house, meeting Mason’s gaze for a fleeting moment before stomping across the yard and up the pathway to the front steps of Gwen’s porch.
I’m about to knock when I hear her weeping inside. Her audible sobs are like a knife in my heart. I rap loudly on the heavy wooden door. I hear her sniffle and the patter of her bare feet on the floor. She cracks the door open slightly, her jaw dropping when she sees me standing there.
My mouth goes dry. I want to say so much, but nothing comes out. “Baby.” I sound unrecognizable, pleading, desperate to find the words.
Gwen scans my face and throws the door open wide, literally leaping into my arms, wrapping her arms around my neck and legs around my waist. I almost fall back from the force of the onslaught, but hold steady and bury my face in her neck.
I hold her to me for a while, but when I start to set her down, she grips more tightly. “Don’t let go,” she begs, frantic. I stroke her hair, kiss her neck, her tearstained cheeks, and her sweet lips.
“I won’t let go,” I promise, and proceed through her small entranceway, kicking the door shut with my boot before I settle on her couch with Gwen still tangled in my arms. She drops her head to my chest. “I want to explain,” I start.
“Not now,” she whispers, closing her eyes, her body beginning to relax.
“Okay, my love.” I give in. I’m not sure how to even go about explaining the way my head was messed up, but she deserves the truth, and we will have that talk eventually.
“Don’t leave me again,” she says. She turns her face upward to look at me, her beautiful, sad eyes longing for me to tell her what she needs to hear. I swear to myself that I will never be the one to put that look on her face again.
“Never again, baby. I promise,” I whisper, then close my mouth over hers in a long, sweet, slow, tantalizing kiss. Gwen doesn’t hold back. My woman, my love, my everything.
TWENTY-FOUR
Nevada Bound
MASON
Finally! I was thinking I was going to have to go back to Caleb and beat some sense into him. I knew I had him when he saw me sitting in my truck across the street from Gwen’s place. The way I see it, he was going to lose his mind when I got out of my vehicle because he knew I was going to follow through with my threat, and decided that Gwen was worth fighting for.
Much as I like Gwen, we’re never going to be more than friends. But her heart belongs to Caleb. Maybe it’s my destiny to meet women who fall for the other guy. At this point, I’ve resigned myself to the fact that I’m better off alone.
