Page 18 of Hammer


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“She’s something else, isn’t she?” Hammer says, bringing my attention back to him. “Millie has a way of putting it all into perspective.” I can see how much Hammer likes and respects Millie. He says, “One day, a bunch of road workers were ragging on the new guy. They were saying he was slow and was lagging behind. They left him on his own to eat lunch and didn’t bother asking if he wanted to come along. Millie tore into them.” He shakes his head and whistles. “Millie knew this guy. He was raising his siblings. He was paying for their education, giving up his own dreams to make sure they had a future.”

“That’s terrible that they would behave so badly.” Now I’m annoyed at how judgmental those men were.

“Millie had no qualms about telling them that. Gave them a whole new way of looking at the new guy. They’ve taken him under his wing, and they’re even encouraging him to take some college courses part-time. Thing is, he wasn’t doing himself any favors by keeping it all bottled up. They could have asked, or he could have gotten to know them and let them in on that little piece of his life.”

“It’s not easy to let someone in on your pain. Maybe he was thinking, people have problems of their own. Why would they want to hear mine? Or maybe he thought they would pity him. Pity is the worst.” I know that look in people’s eyes. I’ve had that same experience, and it deflates you, makes you feel like a failure.

“I get that. It took me a long time to tell someone what happened in Afghanistan. I knew it was bothering me, but I didn’t even know how much until I started talking about it. It’s not something I go around talking to everyone about, but I have good people who get it. My buddies who were with me that day, Saint, Guard, some of the other guys, they know.”

“You can tell me.” I want to know. I want to be able to support him. “I’ll listen.”

He raises a brow. “It’s ugly. Nasty. I saw stuff I’ll never be able to forget. Putting that picture in your head isn’t what I want to do. But I’ll tell you how it made me feel and anything else you want to know.”

“You don’t think I can handle it?”

“That’s not it at all. Those atrocities should never have been committed, and those memories are never going to leave me. If this sticks, baby, I’ll need you to understand why I don’t want to remember them. I’ve given my years of service, and I’m ready to move on.”

I’m not quite sure where he’s going with this, but it seems prudent that I agree with him. “All right. I think I understand.”

Just then, Millie sets down our orders in front of us. On Hammer’s advisement, I ordered the bacon cheeseburger and chips. Oops, fries. Hammer ordered the same.

“Well, young man, are you going to properly introduce me to your girl?” Millie asks. When I look up at her I see that though her voice is stern, her expression is anything but.

“Millie, meet Francesca. Francesca, this is the marvelous Millie,” he teases, drawing out the marvelous.

“Flattery will get you pie,” she returns with a chuckle, then turns to me. “Nice to meet you, Francesca.”

“Thank you. It’s good to meet you too,” I return.

“Take a bite and tell me that isn’t a little bit of heaven,” she urges.

I can hardly wrap my hands around the burger, and take a bite, moaning my gastronomic pleasure. “Oh my God, this is the best burger I’ve ever tasted.”

Millie laughs, and glances at Hammer, patting his shoulder. “I like her. Don’t screw it up,” she advises before she goes back to the kitchen.

We’re left to our meal, and through it all, we talk about books and movies and anything else that comes to mind. But when Hammer leaves to visit the restroom, Millie takes his seat, looking me directly in the eye, and says, “You’re not going to break that boy’s heart, are you?”

I’m dumbfounded. For one, this is coming out of nowhere, and secondly, it’s more likely that Hammer will break my heart. “It’s more, uh, likely that Hammer will be the one to walk away from me.” I manage to stammer out the words.

Millie tilts her head to one side and stares for a beat. “You’ve lost hope. What did they do to you to make you feel that you’re not worth fighting for?” I remain silent, but that’s fine because Millie’s not expecting a response and simply says, “Words hurt, don’t they?” I let out a gasp. How does she know? “They cut deep, and they can’t be taken back. People pick sides, usually the side that seems mightier at the moment. Not because it’s right, but because people are afraid of their own reputation. But all this serves a purpose,” she says with a smile. “It teaches us to reach down deep inside to be what we want to become.”

“I’m not sure who that is,” I confess quietly.

“You know who you are. I know who you are,” Millie states with conviction.

“You don’t?—”

“Then tell me,” she urges.

Fear grips me, and I clamp my mouth shut, finding it hard to breathe.

Millie reaches over and takes my ice-cold, clammy hand. “Haven’t they taken enough from you? I’m a middle-aged woman in a small town, what power can I possibly have, that you would be scared of me?”

“You’re beloved. Hammer, Vi, Rose, well, everybody loves and respects you,” I blurt out.

“And you think I would break your confidence. I’m sorry somebody did that to you, honey.” She pats my hand. “It’s your story to tell. I’ll listen if you want, but it’ll stay with me. More importantly, you should be sharing it with Hammer. Five minutes with you and I already know you didn’t hurt anyone, so whatever it is that you’re hiding from is pure bullshit. If you let him, Hammer will stand by your side.” Millie gets up and bends to drop a kiss into my hair like my mom used to, and cups my cheek. “Trust him to do right by you,” she whispers, then walks away.

I’m deep in thought when Hammer returns to the table. “Ready for dessert?”

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