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But the same fear comes back to wind its way around my throat and silence me again. Because what if he leaves? What if I say I love him and he rejects me? I've lost so many people because of the words I didn't speak. I don't know if I could handle losing him because of the words I say.
I would rather keep these feelings clasped tight, holding them in like I always have so I don’t lose him. Even if it hurts to hide myself from him.
“Luca…” I murmur, my hand creasing his thigh as a quiet peace settles between us. It’s like the crazy wildcat Luca I first fell in love with has been tamed, and all he does now is to curl himself on my lap. I hope that’s it, because I don't need anything else. All I want is for Luca to hold me like this, to keep him close, with the warmth of his skin under my fingertips and the beat of his heart echoing in me as I press my ear to his chest.
He can only take my feelings for so long, and by the time my breaths fall in time with his, he's tucked that part of himself away.
“Now, spread those legs for me, baby.” Luca grins as he leans back, pulling away from me. The moment vanishes as his hand moves from my cheek, tracing down my chest, following the path of a crease in the apron, dancing to my cock.
Some days he lets me lie on his chest so I can listen to the sound of him. I like to see if our heartbeats align. The best days are when they do.
The disappointing loss of our tenderness is quickly wiped away as gentle fingers caress my hard cock, and he groans with me as he wraps his hand around me.
Heat flashes through me, swirling around my cock, surging out to my fingertips as he easily strokes from base to tip.
I’ll never stop wanting him. My bottom lip drops and I lift myself up to him, needing his lips again. No matter how many times he touches me, it's always as good as the first.
I go to push my hips forwards, but his knees on my thighs keep me fixed in place.
“Come on, that's it. Just relax for me, baby.”
He never lets his gaze falter, his bottom lip dropping as my hips jerk and sparks scattering throughout my skin. Pleasure sweeps through me, and I notch my head back, sinking into the pure feeling of Luca.
He hums as I shift my hips, trying to find more of him; he's in charge when we’re like this.
His hand leaves my neck, scooping up my bottle of lube and freeing my hands. Then it's my chance to reach for him, my wide hands cresting his hip, my thumb scouring his perfect freckles as if I could polish them. My hands span the full width of his hips and I relax, happily kneading his skin, holding him close.
“I love that you’re so considerate,” He chuckles as he scans the label on the bottle, his eyes sparkling as he dangles it above my cock.
Another grin spreads across his face as he presses the top. A long strand of cold lube drips onto my cock, a bead running down my shaft to pool around his hand. I can tell it's coming, but I still jump as he saves it by gripping me, spreading it over my cock. My thighs shudder, and the only thing that saves the lube from dropping to the chair is his hand enveloping me. My back arches, and I let out a stifled moan. “Luca, it’s-” I press my hips up into him, the lube quickly warming as he caresses me.
His palm glides down my shaft, hot on my cock as I writhe under him. I try not to hurt him, to keep back my full strength, but he drives me wild with one stroke, and my fingers bury into his hips as I hold on tight.
I cry out when he twists his wrist, another squirt of lube dropping from the bottle. The cold lube is a relief on my hot cock, and this time he uses his thumb to spread it across my cockhead.
“Luca,” I groan, shuddering at his firm brushes. “Wait…” I can’t stop myself from thrusting upwards. It’s too good, and I need him too badly.
“Fuck yeah, baby, that’s it. Just keep moving for me,” he chuckles as he strokes my full length, easily playing with me like he usually does.
My gaze drags from his glistening hand, sliding up and down my cock to meet his fiery gaze, and my heart catches in the back of my throat. Luca is always beautiful, it’s just a fact of life. But, when he’s wound up, absorbed in me, holding himself back so he can tease me, he’s breathtaking.
Pink cheeks against pale skin, wild eyes, his plump lips parted as his heaving chest shakes the stray red hairs that have fallen around his face and shoulders. His long neck, deep collar bones, toned arms, and pink nipples I would taste if it wasn’t for how easily I'm succumbing to the pleasure bursting through me as he takes care of me.
“Dammit.” He grins. “I can’t stop myself when you make that face.” He chuckles softly as his strokes grow tender. “You’re going to make me come straight away,” he moans as he squirts more lube on his hand before setting the bottle on the table and rubs his hands together. “We're going to need more of this later. What do you think?”
I nod, crushing my fingers together to stop my nerves bursting free. “There's more. I, er…” I swallow, squeezing my eyes closed as I dip my chin. “I bought more, just in case.”
Another silence has my pulse jumping in my throat. Until he notches a single lubed finger under my chin and lifts my head up to look at him, meeting me with another one of his mischievous smiles.
“Then we've got a lot to work through, haven't we?” he chuckles.
He fans his fingers across his stomach, sliding down to press over his cock. “This is what you want, isn’t it?” he hums as he grasps himself. “And you’ve been waiting for me?”
My mouth waters at the slick sound of the lube as he cups himself, rubbing his thumb over his shaft.
I should have stroked his cock. I was so taken away by his kisses and his fingers made it hard to think.
“You’re killing me here,” he murmurs as his eyes run over me again.
