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Wesley’s grip on my waist tightens, and his frown returns to his face. “The same one you refuse to tell me about?”
I groan, flopping against his chest dramatically. He drapes an arm casually over my back. I like the way it fits, like it belongs there, and I smile against his bare skin. But the thought of my first boyfriend sobers me just as quickly.
“I’ve talked about him before.”
“You told me he didn’t like touching.”
“He liked the sexual parts well enough,” I say into his skin, sighing. “But hugging was a no-go, especially in public. He said he didn’t want people to think he was soft.”
Wesley snorts and I tilt my head up to stare quizzically at him. “He was a fool. Anybody with half a brain would be willing to hang the moon and stars for y— for those they love.”
I hum, wanting to push the conversation towards him. The curiosity from before has reignited.
Wesley settles a large hand on my head and scrapes fingernails against my scalp until I’m melting against him, curling into his warmth.
“Have you ever been in love?” I say.
“Once.”
“Were you dating them?”
The hand in my hair stops moving for a moment before the petting continues.
“No,” Wesley says. “I’ve never dated them.”
“Oh, so it’s like a crush?” That piques my interest. “What do they look like? Are they pretty?”
Wesley sighs. “They’re beautiful, with lovely blonde hair that catches the sunlight and soft brown eyes. I feel awed just to be in their presence.”
“They sound nice,” I say. It’s true, they do sound nice, but I hate the way Wesley’s voice changes, filled with something that makes my heart race. “You must really like them, huh?”
More than me, even. The thought coils in my stomach like a vine, but I push it away. Wesley deserves somebody he loves, somebody who will take care of him. He deserves love - whole and encompassing - because he’s the best person I know.
“I do like them, very much.” He pauses. “Do you have a crush?”
I shake my head. “No. There’s no point, nobody wants to date me anyway.”
“That’s not true,” Wesley says. “It can’t be.”
“How do you know? Besides, I don’t have time for crushes. It would distract me from hanging out with my friends. Like you.”
“That’s— well. Good for you, Ollie.”
The lovely, warm thing in his voice disappears, replaced by short, clipped tones.
“What’s wrong?” I say.
“Nothing. I believe it’s time for a shower,” he says, pulling away from me. “I feel disgusting.”
Something tightens in my chest as Wesley takes his hand away and uncurls the arm around my waist. I pull back, slipping off of his lap easily and staring up at him. He grabs the tray.
“I’ll wash these for you,” he says gruffly. “Thank you for the meal.”
He exits the room hurriedly, leaving me feeling off-kilter and wondering what just happened. His words echo in my head. I feel disgusting.
I don’t know what to think. I never expected to end up in bed with Wesley, but I’m not sure I want to stop. He’s been my best friend for years and I don’t want to ruin that. But maybe this doesn’t have to ruin anything.
Maybe we can keep sleeping together in the bed and go back to normal when college starts again. All I know is I don’t want to lose him.
