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“Are you getting attached to Roman?” The question was direct, probing beneath the surface with surgical precision.
“No.” The denial was immediate, reflexive. But even as he spoke, uncertainty and a tightness in his chest seemed to contradict his words.
Wander studied him, the silence stretching between them. “You’ve never lied to me. It worries me.”
Caleb bit his lip. “I’m not lying, Sir. At least, not intentionally. It’s…” He sighed, staring at the floor. “I don’t understand it myself, Sir.”
Wander’s strong hand landed on his shoulder, and when Caleb looked up, his boss’s eyes were a hell of a lot softer. “Something happened when Ryan suggested Alex take care of Roman, yeah? How did that make you feel?”
Goddammit, why did Wander always have to ask the hard questions? “I think I was jealous.”
“Hmm, I figured. Can you tell me the exact thing that went through your head?”
“I…” Caleb swallowed. “I pictured him with Alex, and I didn’t like it, Sir. It was like I couldn’t breathe.”
“Like he was yours.”
Oh, crap. “Y-yeah.”
A squeeze on his shoulder. “I’m talking to you as a friend now, Caleb, as a Dom who’s seen this before. Not as your boss, yeah?”
Caleb nodded.
“Be careful. Roman’s not a trained Dom, so he doesn’t know the rules. He can hurt you without realizing it.”
“I know, Sir.”
“But more importantly, this can’t be more than sex.”
Caleb stiffened. Wander’s eyes, now only inches away, were endlessly kind. “Roman’s job, his life…they don’t allow for attachments. Being out as bisexual or being in a same-sex relationship? That would bring all kinds of complications for him. And a D/s dynamic?” Wander shook his head, the motion slow, deliberate. “Impossible.”
Caleb clenched his jaw, the muscle ticking. “I get it,” he said, voice low and rough with emotion he refused to show. “It’s just sex. Nothing more.”
Wander trailed his hand over Caleb’s shoulder to his cheek and cupped it with tenderness. “You know how much I care about you. I don’t want to see you get hurt, kid. And you’re so much more fragile than you realize. You have pain inside you that you haven’t worked through yet.”
Pain? What was he talking about? “I don’t understand, Sir.”
“I know you don’t. How I wish I could protect you from what’s coming, but I can’t. All I wanted was for you to have some fun and for him to let go. I never expected this.”
He was talking in riddles. His concern was clear, and Caleb appreciated that, but what was he so worried about? “I’m a big boy, Sir. I’ll be fine.”
Wander bent in and softly kissed his cheek. “Just remember, there are people willing to catch you when you fall.”
And with those mysterious words, Wander walked away with long strides. What had that been about? Anger, Caleb would’ve understood. Roman was Wander’s brother, after all. But he didn’t get the concern, the cryptic remarks about pain in his past or whatever. What did that even mean? He’d been honest with Wander, hadn’t he? He’d told him he didn’t have all the answers yet, that he was figuring things out.
He knew Roman could never be his. Just like Boyd had never been truly his.
Oh fuck.
Here he was, caught up in the dangerous tangle of wanting more from a man who could never truly be his. Again. He had been here before.
The realization was a punch to the gut, leaving him reeling, breathless.
13
Roman’s eyelids, stubbornly resistant to sleep, peeled open to the dark. The red digits of his alarm clock glared back at him: 4:37. He exhaled a curse into the stillness of his bedroom, the sheets tangled around his body after a night spent chasing elusive dreams. Enough was enough. If he couldn’t sleep, he might as well do something else. Maybe he should get some exercise in. It had been a while, and his body showed it. The gym in the basement beckoned like a promise or a threat. He hadn’t decided which yet.
With a grunt, he threw off the covers and swung his legs over the side of the bed. His feet hit the soft plush rug, protecting him from the cold floor. His guest room was chilly at night, just like he preferred, but that meant getting up was a hardship.
