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“It’s all good, Ro. Nothing you tell me will go any further. You know that.”
Roman blew out a long breath. “The BDSM thing… The D/s play… It’s all new to me. The control, the trust Caleb puts in me, the way he looks at me when he kneels, like I’m a god or something…”
For a man who made his living yielding words like weapons, he sure had a hard time verbalizing the storm inside him.
“Ro.” Wander’s voice was gentle but insistent. “You take it at your pace. Caleb’s not just some plaything. He’s got brains and experience. The kid knows you’re new to this, and he’ll communicate for both of you.”
“Right.”
Wander wasn’t wrong, but BDSM was uncharted territory for Roman, a realm where he held no sway, had no experience, and he hated that. He hated not being in control, maybe even more because he was supposed to be.
“Am I a Dom?” he asked. “Tell me the truth.”
Wander rubbed his beard. “If you’d asked me a month ago, I would’ve said no, but I’ve seen a new side of you.”
“My dominant side?”
“Yeah, but more than that. I always knew you were bi, and I understood why you couldn’t act on it, but I don’t think I realized you’re more attracted to men than to women.”
“I’m not…” He stopped. Was he? He’d been in love with Yolanda, no doubt about it. And he liked women in general. For companionship, for sex, for everything. But did he like men more? “I know theoretically that even if it’s not fifty-fifty, I’m still bisexual, but it kinda feels like a betrayal if I admit I like men more.”
Wander shrugged. “That’s bullshit if you ask me. You can like men ninety percent more, and you’d still be bi, but does it really matter? We’re not talking about your public image. This is us, you and me. If you can’t be yourself with me, then with who can you?”
“With whom,” Roman corrected automatically and laughed. “Sorry. That was pedantic.”
“No kidding. Grammar snob.”
Roman held up his hands. “I’ll try to refrain next time.”
“So, back to our previous topic. I’m right, then, that you do prefer men?”
Roman blew out a breath. “I think I do. Though I didn’t realize it until you asked.”
“Fair enough.”
“Why did you send Caleb my way?”
“For sex. It was as simple as that. He loves sex and is a sucker for a big dick, and I knew you could use some distraction and sexual release. As far as I knew, you hadn’t been with a guy in a while, yeah?”
“Not since I was an assistant DA. Years.”
“So that was why. I never expected you’d connect with him the way you have.”
“I’m flying blind on the BDSM stuff.”
“You could start by not calling it BDSM stuff,” Wander said mildly. “And label it what it is. D/s play, impact play.”
“I spanked him.”
“I figured when I saw him sit down with a wince. He likes that.”
Okay, maybe talking about this with his brother wasn’t as weird as Roman had feared. “He sure did. It was another first for me, but I loved it.”
“Sore hand?”
“Not as sore as his ass,” Roman said with a laugh. “But damn, seeing my handprints on his skin gave me a thrill.”
“See, that remark right there is pure Dom. That’s how I feel about it. I love seeing my marks on Burke.”
