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I touch the video button and wait. It’s around ten o’clock in the evening in New Orleans. Ivy usually goes to bed around now, but I want to tell her in person, not just leave a message that I’ll be out of touch for a few weeks. Just before she answers, I double-check that I’m wearing my holo. When I don’t feel it. I put the phone down, quickly put it on, and then pick the phone up again. I see her sleepy, angelic face.
“I’m sorry I woke you.”
“Sem,” she says my name sleepily. “Where are you?”
“Outer Mongolia.”
“Oh…”
“Ivy, there’s something I need to tell you.”
She seems much more alert suddenly and sits up by my tone of voice.
“I have to go on a mission, and I won’t be able to call you for the next week or so.”
“Is it dangerous?”
“Yes.”
“Life and death dangerous?”
“More than usual, but nothing you should worry about.”
“How will I know if you don’t come back?”
I should say, ‘Because you’ll never hear from me again,’ but the thought of that scenario makes me sad. And I know why she’s asking. She gets very insecure sometimes, imagining I’ve met someone else and that someday I’m just never going to call or pick up again. “I’ll send you something of mine by courier for you to hold on to until I return. It’s very precious to me.”
“Your heart?” she asks angelically. There’s nothing more I want to do than tell her who I am right now and ask her to be mine.
Is Ash right? More than anything, I want to end this charade. I finger the Dulu holo around my neck and consider it. But I can’t do it. I reply, “You’ve owned my heart from the moment we met.”
She blushes. “What are you sending me then?”
“That’s part of the surprise.”
We talk about her day and her class of children. She’s such a giving person. It amazes me how she finds the patience to teach the youngest of children the most basic skills. I don’t think I’ll ever tire of listening to her successes and struggles with her students. It’s like reliving my own childhood education in some ways, except in the Empire, boys aren’t given the same education as girls because we’re streamlined into our military professions. In comparison, Alliance girls become the thinkers and architects of our civilization.
“I should say ‘goodnight’ now,” I say when she yawns.
“I never want to stop talking to you.”
“I feel the same.”
“Are we going to go on vacation together? Say we are. To celebrate you coming back from your risky mission. And I know you, Sem. You say it’s just a little dangerous, and that must mean it’s very dangerous.”
I want to say ‘no,’ but she looks so sincerely worried I can’t. This will be the most dangerous mission I’ve been on since I met her, and I know another reason she worries is that she lost both of her parents. So I know this won't be easy. If I can give her a holiday to look forward to, maybe it will lessen the time we don’t talk. “Yes, I promise we can go on holiday. Do you have a passport?”
“I can get one.”
“Good. Get one, and then we’ll go on a holiday of your choice. Anywhere you want to go. Even a beach.” Earth’s temperatures are hotter than my home planet in the Empire, so the thought of going somewhere tropical has me sweating even in the cool air on the base.
“I want to see where you live,” she says, surprising me. “I want to go to Sweden.”
“I live on the base, and you’re not allowed…”
She cuts me off, “Because it’s restricted for security…”
“Yes.”
