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“I didn’t, though. I mean, I cared about her back then, but now that all this time has passed, it’s a sore spot.” His brows furrowed. “There’s so much baggage that comes with that part of my life.”
She stiffened. They were headed into dangerous territory. He’d been a deadbeat like her own father. He couldn’t complain now. He had six years of perceived freedom and now he was looking back on his decisions like he couldn’t have changed anything?
Grant looked up at her and his expression shifted to something else. His eyes narrowed and his lips were pressed into a thin line. “There’s something I haven’t told you. I didn’t think it mattered, but there’s something telling me that I should.”
Bella didn’t know if she wanted to know what he was going to say. This was a first date, for goodness’ sake, and it wasn’t going in the best direction. “Okay,” she said.
“Dee didn’t tell me.”
She tilted her head, placing the spoon on the table. “Didn’t tell you what?”
“About Nick.”
All at once, her insides collided. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, when we signed the annulment papers, she didn’t tell me about Nick. I never knew she was even pregnant until her lawyer called.”
Bella felt faint. She’d been wrong. Grant had been the victim in this situation, not his ex. He wasn’t a deadbeat dad after all.
“I know what you’re thinking. I should have kept in touch better. Surely, I would have figured it out.” There was a bitterness to his tone, one that tugged at her heart.
She gasped and jumped from her seat to take the place beside him on the bench. Taking his hand in hers, she held it tight. “I wasn’t thinking that at all.”
“You don’t know how hard it was for me to grasp that not only was I a father, my son was already in kindergarten.” Grant’s voice broke but the emotion was short lived. He took a deep breath and released it with a painful chuckle. “Anyway, it’s been strange. But the worst part is that I can see the judgment on everyone’s faces in town. They all think I knew—well, everyone except a couple of the guys I’ve gotten to know at the ranch.”
She was included in that sentiment, and she couldn’t have felt more guilty about it. Bella trailed her fingers over the hand she held.
“It’s none of their business anyhow. Don’t worry about what they think.” She was a hypocrite and she knew it. Only now, she planned on doing better. “Around here, broken families don’t happen all that often. But in the city…” She let out a long sigh trying to control the disappointment and anger this memory always evoked. “My dad left us when I was a baby.”
His head whirled around, and he stared at her like she was an alien. She blushed but didn’t pull away like she itched to do—partially because she wanted to be near him, and partially because his grip on her had tightened.
“For what it’s worth, I think I would have forgiven him if he’d shown up when I was six and tried to be there for me—at least, I hope I would have.” She gave him a watery smile, fighting back her emotion. “The way you are with Nick, it’s how I wish my father would have been.”
She’d never told anyone that before. Even when she spoke to her mother, she would say how much she hated her father for leaving them high and dry. Most of the time when she thought back to her hard childhood, she’d even tell herself she had no business wanting him in her life.
Only now, next to Grant, she admitted how not having her father in her life had affected so many areas of her life. It was more than the disappointment and anger of a child--she also carried the scars of an adult who longed for a relationship with her father.
Grant touched her chin, forcing her to look at him. “If Nick turns out half as amazing as you are, I’ll count myself lucky.”
His eyes dipped to her lips and her breath hitched in her throat. As if in slow motion, Grant moved closer and closer until his mouth captured hers.
Sparks shot off around them, filling the room, the air, even her own body with light and warmth. She brought her hand to his cheek then pushed it behind his neck to pull him closer, clinging to him.
Grant wasn’t what she had expected. At every turn, she was discovering things about him that made her like him that much more. Grant was everything she’d wanted in her life and here he was beside her, holding her, and making her feel like anything was possible.
* * *
Bella was on cloud nine. Last night’s date was more than she’d bargained for, and she didn’t regret it for a moment. Everything in her life felt like it was falling into place. She’d found someone who was sweet and open, which only contributed to her own willingness to be open with him.
Grant was the first man in her life she thought she might be able to trust. This whole time, she’d been worried that he might be keeping something from her and in the end, it had been nothing. She was kicking herself for not giving him the benefit of the doubt. Why couldn’t she just let him prove himself instead of assuming?
Because she’d been hurt. That’s why.
Well, no more.
She refused to be triggered by her past.
Bella wandered toward the RV. Grant had suggested they take Nick for a nature walk before lunch. It sounded like the perfect Sunday outing, and she couldn’t have been more thrilled that he wanted to spend even more time with her.
