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“Then think of it as a long visit.” She pleads. “Come stay during the summer while you find a new place to live in OKC or wherever it is you want to live.”
“I don’t know….” I say, trying to weigh my options.
“Come on. We’ve never had a summer together as adults. We can take Juliet to the lake and go out on weekends when she’s with her dad. Please?”
The sound of slamming doors in our driveway interrupts my thought process. I rush to the window and peer through the blinds to find Elliott making his way towards the front door. “Avery, I gotta go. Let me think about all of this, and I’ll let you know what I figure out.”
“Good luck.” She says, still sounding hopeful as I disconnect the call and put the phone in the pocket of my sweats.
I don’t think even luck can save me now.
Elliott breezes past me into the kitchen to retrieve a bottle of water. When he returns, I’m sitting on the sofa with my arms wrapped around my knees, holding them close to my body. No matter how hard I try, I can’t stop the tears from flowing. I know what must be done. I’m terrified to speak.
Elliott takes notice of my stance and sits next to me on the sofa before reaching out and stroking my knee. “Tyler, are you okay?” He prods, softly.
I shake my head. The words are on the tip of my tongue, but for some reason, sitting here with him, I can’t will them to come out of my mouth.
Elliott reaches out to take my hand, and briefly I allow it. He uses his thumb to trace circles on the top of my hand. “Are you still mad about last night?” He asks.
I pull my hand back and place it in my lap. “Elliott, I’m not mad. But I am upset and hurt, and it’s not just about last night, it’s about a lot of things.” When he doesn’t respond, I continue. “Elliott, I love you and honestly, until last night, I thought that you and I agreed about a lot of things.”
He scoffs, “So, we’re back to this again?”
I bite my tongue and attempt to remain composed. “Yes, we’re back at this again. THIS isn’t some slight disagreement, Elliott. THIS is the state of our relationship, and the state of my life. It’s the fact that last night you basically told me you had made the decision that we are never getting married or having children, and I have no say in the matter.”
Elliott’s posture goes rigid. He straights his back and a look of annoyance comes over his face. “Tyler, I can’t help how I feel. There’s nothing wrong with living together and not having kids. Think of all the traveling we could do. Think of all the spare time and sleep we could get. I wish you could see how great life is going to be.”
I sigh. “Elliott. That may be the life that you want, but that isn’t the life for me. And it’s not fair for you to make that decision without even as much as hearing my side in the matter.”
He shakes his head. “Ty, I don’t know what there is to say that hasn’t already been said.”
I press my palms against my forehead and take in a deep breath. “That’s okay, because I do.” I turn to face him. “Elliott, this isn’t going to work. We have got to end this before we waste any more of each other’s time.” My eyes search his for any sign of what he is thinking.
“Tyler. We’ve been together for three years.” He says, shaking his head. “We have built a good life together and you just want to throw that all away?”
I take a deep breath and stand from the sofa. “Elliott, the only one of us that is enjoying this life is you. I have waited patiently for years for my life to begin and for the things that I’ve always dreamed of, but you have only been focused on making yourself happy.”
“That’s not fair.” He says sternly.
“No.” I interrupt him. “What’s not fair is for you to completely disregard what I want and how I feel.”
“You are what I want.” He says, standing from the sofa and reaching out to grab my hands.
I pull my hands back. “No, what you want is a roommate that will pay half of the bills and have sex with you.” I shake my head. “That’s not me. I’m a whole person with feelings and dreams and I deserve someone that will love me as much as I love them. And that someone isn’t you.”
He rolls his eyes. “Tyler, where are you even going to go? It’s not like you can just move into a new place this weekend.”
I shrug. “I don’t know, but I’m going to go back home until I figure it out.”
He laughs. “To Fawn Creek? You can’t be serious. There’s nothing there. Do they even have Wi-Fi yet?” He jokes. “Why don’t you just stay here and sleep in the guest bedroom until you can find a new place?”
I shake my head. “No, Elliott. My mind is made up and the sooner I leave, the better off we both are going to be. I will not stay here and risk changing my mind. It’ll only delay the inevitable.” I pause and look over at him once more. “Either you can help me pack, or you can get out of my way.”
And with that, Elliott storms out the front door, once again leaving me to handle everything on my own.
In just under two hours, I have all of my belongings packed, mostly in trash bags, and loaded into the back of my crappy Honda. Slowly, I move through the house that I’ve called home for the past two and a half years. All this time, I was sure that if I ever moved again, it would be because Elliott and I were purchasing a bigger house to raise our growing family. I never imagined that the only one growing here would be me.
As I leave the key on the counter, I pull my phone from my pocket and call Avery once again.
