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“She doesn’t mean that. She loves me too,” says Mac. “And I love her. And our baby.” He places a white stick in my hand, and I glare at him. “I dipped your pee. Not sure how accurate that is with toilet water mixed in, but it’s the only way I could get the test done.”
“You followed me!” I hiss. He nods to the stick, and I look at it. Two blue lines fill the little window. “This isn’t accurate. Someone could have peed before me. Are you the reason the toilet wouldn’t flush?”
He nods proudly. “I had Ace tamper with the flushes.”
“Oh my god, you’ve lost your mind. This is next level stalker behaviour. I am not pregnant. That test will not be accurate.”
“Then do this one,” he says, handing me another package. “Put your mind at rest.”
I snatch the package angrily, reeling from the lengths he’s going to, and stomp off to the bathroom. I’ll have no trouble peeing a second time because I’m constantly peeing lately. And that doesn’t mean anything, I tell myself. Nothing at all.
I pee on the stupid stick, then check my stomach in the large mirror while I wait for the result. I’m standing side on and rubbing my period belly when the door opens, and Mac comes in. “This is the girls’ bathroom,” I snap.
“And the mother of my child is here, so I have to be wherever she is.”
“Don’t call me that! It freaks me out, and I’ll call security if you don’t leave.”
He grins. “Let’s see if they can remove me.”
I sit on the red couch and sigh. “Why are you doing this to me?”
“I told you, I love you.”
“You don’t love me, or you wouldn’t have left. You’d have taken me with you.”
“I regret it. I wish I had, but my head was a mess. I’d just seen Ruby for the first time since my brother died, and then she told me about Meg, and I was panicking. And I was ashamed. You finally knew what I’d done, and I couldn’t stand to see the way you’d look at me.”
“If you knew me, you’d know I wouldn’t judge you like that.”
“But I couldn’t see that at the time, Raven, because I hated myself for it. I was so ashamed that I thought everyone would feel like that. And then I shut down my feelings before you realised what a dick I really was. That way, it wouldn’t hurt so much when you dumped my cheating arse.”
“I was working on getting over you,” I mutter. “Just a few more weeks and I’d have cracked it. I’ve thrown myself into work, and I love the new apartment, but now you’re here, messing it all up.”
He takes the stick from the side and then joins me. “I am so fucking sorry for leaving you behind with no hope I’d come back. And I’m sorry I lied and that I hurt you. But I mean it, Raven . . . I love you. And I’m not saying I won’t fuck up ever again. I will. But I’ll try my hardest not to hurt you again, and I won’t ever leave you. I promise. I wasn’t gonna come back. I didn’t want to face up to you, and that makes me a fucking coward. I rip things apart and run away. But the thought you could be having my kid means the world, and I had to face you, make right what I did wrong.”
When I don’t reply, he turns the test and smiles before showing me. “Oh fuck,” I mutter when I see the two lines.
“You’re not gonna forgive me easily, and I’m prepared for that. I’ll work my arse off to prove myself, and I’ll do whatever you want if it means you give me another chance.”
“I’ll make a terrible mum,” I whisper, dread running through me.
“You’ll be amazing,” he says, lifting my chin to look into my eyes. “Fucking amazing.”
“I don’t know how to do it.”
“We’ll learn together.”
“What if you leave again? I can’t bring a child up alone.”
“I’ll never leave. I’ll marry you right here and now to prove it.”
I laugh nervously. “People leave marriages all the time.”
“I’ll stay by your side twenty-four-seven,” he says. “You can cuff me to you.”
“Then I’ll be the one running away,” I joke.
“Please, Raven. Please give me a chance to prove myself. I’m begging. You can punish me however you like. I deserve it. I’ll let you check my phone, screen my calls, check in with me whenever I leave your side.” I sigh, glancing at the test again. “Your place is in this club with me, Raven. We belong together. Think about how happy we were before I screwed it all up. There’re no secrets now, nothing to get in the way. I’ll do whatever you ask. You’re in control, you’re calling the shots.”
