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“That was years ago,” I utter, taking the forms.
“There’s an emergency loan you can apply for, but you’ll have to pull a ticket and wait,” she says, looking across the room. “There’re a lot of people waiting.” I follow the direction of her stare and groan. There’s at least thirty people.
“Forget it,” I mutter, heading out.
I grab a pack of noodles on the way home and stop at Mum’s. It’s been a while since I’ve dropped her any food round, and even though she’s never shown a maternal side, I have the urge to be around her when my heart is so smashed up.
Ivy begins to stir, so I lift her from the pushchair once we’re inside. “Mum,” I call out.
I find her sprawled out on the couch, naked and bruised. I cover her with a blanket and go through to the kitchen. It’s a mess, and I groan at the sight of stacked-up takeaway boxes and leftover food on plates that’s now hard or mouldy.
I give Ivy her bottle and settle her back into her pushchair before rolling up my sleeves and beginning to clean up. I wouldn’t usually tidy Mum’s flat, mainly because it’ll only be in this state again within a week, but I need to occupy my mind.
It takes me a good hour to get it looking like a kitchen again. I boil the kettle and make Mum the noodles, realising she probably needs them more than I do, then I gently wake her. She pushes to sit, wrapping the sheet around herself. “Luna?” she mumbles groggily.
“I’ve got you some food,” I say, placing the bowl on the table, “and I cleaned the kitchen.”
“You haven’t come to see me in ages,” she says, grabbing the bowl and shovelling food into her mouth.
“Sorry. I had shit to deal with. Are you okay?”
She gives a slight shrug. “With you not being around, Nate’s been sending a lot of people my way.”
“Sorry,” I mumble, feeling guilty.
“You look sad,” she comments, and she raises her hand to my cheek like she’s about to cup it, but she thinks better of it and lets it drop onto her lap.
“I did the one thing you always told me not to do,” I mutter, keeping my eyes on the ground.
“You let one in,” she says, and her voice is so gentle, it makes me want to cry.
“Stupid really,” I tell her. “He turned out to be a prick, just like the rest.”
I hear the door open and close, and Mum’s eyes widen in alarm. “Not again,” she whispers, and for the first time, I see a glimpse of the vulnerable woman she is.
Nate appears, and I take in his black eyes. “You’re back,” he spits.
“Just here to check on Mum.”
Two of his friends appear behind him. “Where’s your hero?”
“I’m just about to go back to him,” I lie.
“She’s lying,” Mum rushes to say. “He dumped her.”
I glare at her, and she gives a helpless shrug. “I can’t take it anymore,” she whispers.
“He finally saw you for what you are?” Nate smirks. “When did he dump you?”
“What does it matter?” I ask, standing. “I have to go.”
I try to pass him, but he shakes his head, grabbing my arm. “You owe me.”
“I don’t owe shit.”
He slaps me so hard, my eyes feel like they’re about to explode. I grip my cheek as tears spring to my eyes. “When did he dump your whore arse?”
“Last night,” I whisper, my voice coming out as a squeak.
