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When I don’t move farther, the police officer pushes me to one side and they go into the living room. I stand in the doorway and take in the scene. Empty food cartons are stacked and there’re ashtrays overspilling onto the table. There’re two dirty bottles of Ivy’s next to them, and the police officer begins to snap photos.
“What are you doing?” I demand, trying to pull his arm.
The other officer pushes me back. “You need to remain calm or you’ll be coming with us,” he warns.
I watch as he moves things from the table to reveal more mess. He lifts a glass coaster and takes a picture of the powdery residue. “That’s not mine,” I argue. “I don’t do drugs.”
Becki gives a smile that says she doesn’t believe me. “Where does Ivy sleep?” she asks. “In her room?”
I shake my head. “Mine,” I mutter. They head that way, and I don’t bother to follow because I already know it’s a state. There are at least three empty vodka bottles along with sex toys on the bed, and the sheets are a mess. I didn’t see the point in washing them when there are so many visitors.
When they return, they’re wearing grave expressions on their faces. “Is there anyone other than your mother who looks after Ivy?” I shake my head. “You have sole custody?” I nod. “In that case, we’ll be taking Ivy into care today under the Child Protection Act. We will also be applying to the courts to ask for an emergency care order to be put into place. We’re doing this because we believe Ivy to be at significant risk of harm and neglect.” I sob, sickness filling my stomach. “I’ll call to let you know when the hearing will take place, but they’re usually in front of a judge pretty fast, so make sure you answer my call and get yourself some representation.”
“What . . . I don’t understand,” I cry, her words feeling jumbled.
“Give me your telephone number and we’ll be in touch. It’s important you attend the court hearing. In the meantime, if you think of anyone who can take care of Ivy, let us know. We’ll consider immediate family.”
Present time
Grizz stares at me, and there’s a storm brewing, I can see it in the way he balls his fists by his sides and his eyes narrow. “What did you just say?” It’s spoken in a low, menacing voice, one I’m sure I should be terrified of, but since they took my baby, I have nothing left, especially not fear.
I wipe my face with shaky hands. “I was scared you’d run a mile,” I explain. My entire body joins my hands, shaking so hard, my teeth clash together. “I thought you’d hate me.”
“But we didn’t . . . we never had unprotected sex.”
I glance around and note Axel is now joined by a few of the other brothers. Humiliation courses through me. “Don’t look at them,” Grizz barks, causing me to jump at the tone of his voice. “Look at me.”
I raise my eyes to his. “When you got out,” I whisper.
He grabs my upper arm and shoves me towards the office. Axel steps to one side. “You gonna stay calm?” he asks Grizz, who gives a slight nod. “I’m right out here,” he warns, closing the office door so we’re alone.
“You’re hurting me,” I whisper.
He shoves me away from him like the trash he thinks I am. “I always use protection,” he spits.
“We did at first, but you woke in the night and I didn’t realise.”
“You didn’t notice I was fucking bareback?” he shouts angrily. “I was clearly hammered, Luna. Why the hell didn’t you stop me?”
“I didn’t realise.”
“You did it on purpose,” he yells, slamming his hands against the desk.
I shake my head. “I’d never do that.”
He takes a deep breath. “Okay, so when you realised, why didn’t you take care of it?”
“I meant to,” I say, a fresh round of tears flowing. “I was busy at Zen, and my brother was on my back. I just got in a mess. I thought it’d be okay.”
“Why didn’t you get rid of it?” he shouts.
“Because I didn’t find out until I was too far gone. Look, I just need you to get her back for me,” I cry. “Ivy can’t go into care. I’ll never get her back if that happens.”
He moves close, pushing his face into mine until my back hits the wall. “Oh, I’ll get her back,” he says, and I relax slightly, “but you’re not going near her.” His words are like ice, and I stare into his cold eyes. “You’re not fit to be her mother.”
“Grizz,” I whisper.
“Tell me why they took her,” he demands, stepping away and pacing the office. “Cos they don’t do that lightly.”
