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“She doesn’t smell right,” Luna mutters, unfastening the baby grow. “She needs a bath and some fresh clothes.”
“Would you mind if I did it?” I ask.
“What, now you don’t trust me to bathe my own daughter?” she snaps.
“Actually, I’d like to spend some time with her now I know the truth.”
She rolls her eyes and hands Ivy over without a fuss. She follows me upstairs and hovers in the doorway while I set up the baby bath. When I go to undress her, she steps farther into the room and closes the door before popping her elbow into the warm water to check the temperature. “It’s safer to check with your elbow,” she tells me. “Your hands aren’t sensitive to hot water.”
I give a nod. “Okay.”
“And this one smells nicer,” she says, grabbing one of the three bottles of wash I’d bought especially for children. “It’s got lavender and it settles her.” She then places the towel on the radiator. “I always wrap her in a warm towel after her bath,” she mutters, shrugging.
“Do you remember your mum ever doing any of this sort of stuff for you?” I ask, slowly lowering Ivy into the water, holding her exactly how Luna taught me to just a few weeks ago. “Not when you were a baby, obviously, but as you got a little older?”
Luna sits on the closed toilet. “No. Never. Do you?”
I shake my head. “I don’t really remember my parents.”
“Mum wasn’t always so bad. There were times when she did things like make us sandwiches or even cook a hot meal. But they were few and far between. When I think about growing up, I remember shouting and doors slamming. I remember her crying a lot.”
“Ivy deserves better, right?”
“And I’ll give that to her.”
I resist the urge to roll my eyes. “You turned down my job. So, how?”
“I’ve got a plan. I’m going to make it work.”
“You have a plan with no money, no home. Ivy will have a large family here at the club, and she’ll never be short of people who will look out for her.”
“I know what you’re doing,” she mutters, “and it makes me feel like I’m not good enough. But I am, Grizz.”
“That’s not what I’m saying.”
“Why did you choose her?”
I glance back at her. “Who?”
“Danii.”
I groan. “Don’t start.”
“I’m not,” she says, “I swear. It’s a genuine question. Why did you choose her over me?”
I lift Ivy from the bath, and Luna rushes to grab the towel, helping as I wrap Ivy and hold her to me, inhaling her lavender baby smell. Luna was right, it smells good. “Because . . . because you remind me of my mum.”
“Right, and the minute you saw I had Ivy, you said a similar thing. You had no faith in me from the start. You knew I’d fail and you were just waiting.”
“That’s not true,” I snap, heading into the bedroom. I lay Ivy on the bed and begin to dry her.
“If I had a good job, if I was never a club whore, and you met me, would you choose me or her?”
“I’m not answering that.”
“Because you know I’m right. I was never going to be good enough for you. You were always going to fight against me. That’s why I couldn’t tell you about Ivy.”
LUNA
