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Tears spring to my eyes, and she hands me a tissue. I take it, laughing as a sob slips out, then I turn to Grizz, who’s watching me closely. He does that a lot. “Thank you,” I whisper, leaning my head against his shoulder, because I know he organised this for me.
The service is over quickly. I chose a short poem and opted not to say any words. What is there left to say? I wait for the coffin to be taken into the furnace before I turn to leave, followed by my new family.
Outside, Smoke is rocking Ivy in the pushchair. I smile, going over to rescue him. “Thank you so much,” I tell him, looking in to check she’s wrapped up warm.
“I’ll take her back to the clubhouse,” says Duchess, and I begin to protest but Grizz steps in, nodding and thanking her.
Then he takes my hand. “We’ll catch everyone up at the club. I just want to do something first,” he says, leading me away from everyone.
We go back to the car and drive in silence for ten minutes. He stops at a restaurant and rushes round to open my car door. I frown as I step out. “What’s going on?”
“It’s been a tough day. We can’t just pretend it didn’t happen, so we’re having dinner.”
My frown deepens. “This place looks fancy,” I remark as he closes the car door and grabs my hand.
“It’s the best.”
I slow as we get to the door, reluctant to go inside. He stops and turns to me. “What’s wrong?”
“I’ve never done this,” I say, shrugging. “I don’t know how.”
He grins. “You don’t know how to eat?”
“Of course, I do. I mean, I don’t know how to act in a place like this.”
His smile softens as he brushes his thumb over my cheek. “Me either, so let’s do it together.”
Inside, it’s posh. The sound of cutlery tapping plates and gentle conversation sends fear through me as a waiter shows us to a table. A few people look up at Grizz, his size making him stand out.
My seat is pulled out and I slide into it, feeling my cheeks burn with embarrassment. Grizz sits opposite me. “Guess I stand out even without the kutte.”
“They’re probably wondering what I’m doing in here,” I whisper, taking a menu from the waiter and opening it to hide behind.
Grizz takes it from me and lays it down flat. “You’re no different than these people,” he says firmly. “In fact, you’re better.”
I scoff. “I doubt that.”
“Luna, you’re better than anyone in this damn room, including me.”
“You don’t have to do this, yah know.”
His eyes narrow. “What?”
“This,” I hiss, waving my hand around the room. “A fancy dinner.”
“I wanted you to see you’re special.”
“Why?”
“Because I owe you so much. This is just one small thing in a long line of ways I’m going to make it right between us.”
“Things are fine,” I say. I look around the room, taking in the expensive décor. I feel so out of my depth.
I feel Grizz take my hand in his. “Don’t look at them, look at me,” he says gently, and I do. “Stop comparing yourself.”
“It’s hard not to,” I mutter.
“You’re beautiful,” he says, smiling.
