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She lets out a shuddering breath. “That doesn’t help…”
“Fine,” I say. “Can I take a stab at this then?”
“Sure, Jax.”
I kick the covers out from under the lower half of my body.
I turn to face Mila and I pull the covers up over her body, giving her some privacy so we can have a serious talk.
And I get it.
I respect her for what’s about to happen.
Look, I’m not the hero of the story here or anything either.
We crossed a line here and there… the night of Mac’s father’s funeral.
Hey, I knew what I was doing then. And now.
Am I supposed to feel guilt or remorse for this?
How can I?
I have a beautiful woman in my bed with me.
She’s naked. I’m naked.
And what we just did…?
Let me put it this way…
If Mila was properly cared for - in and outside the bedroom - then she wouldn’t be in my bed right now.
“Your head is swimming with thoughts, Jax,” she says. “And they’re not right.”
“What’s not right?”
“You think… you and I…”
“Don’t start forgetting words here, Mila.”
“I’m not forgetting a thing,” she says. “You think I cheated on… you know who. And you went along with it. You don’t even care about that. If it were true.”
“What do you mean if it were true…?”
“I’m walking a really fine line here, Jax. This is not who I am. I am not that kind of person, okay? I study hard. I work hard. I have dreams. Goals. I’m not…”
“Whoa, honey,” I say. “You’re too far ahead right now. What is there to be mad about right now? You can disagree with me with what I’m about to say, but you’re allowed to do what you want in life. It doesn’t take someone in pre-med classes to be smart enough to know the truth about your situation. No offense to you.”
“Is this where you tell me you fucked me out of pity?”
“Not even close, Mila. I fucked you because I’ve wanted to fuck you from the moment I met you. And that feeling only got crazier when I realized the situation you were in. A shitty situation that you did not deserve.”
“Well, what I’m trying to say is that my situation is over. It’s done. It’s taken care of. Okay?”
“Oh?” I ask.
“Yeah. Okay? I did what I had to do. What I probably should have done a while ago. I’m not talking about that though. It doesn’t matter. I wanted to tell you the truth. But when I showed up here…”
