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“Wow,” Jax says as he steps back. “So you promised that guy your heart… and then came rushing over to me for attention. You were lonely and cold, huh? You just needed a warm body to climb on top of you and fuck you.”
“You asshole,” I growl. “How dare you say that to me…”
“Tell me it’s a lie, Mila. You promised Ward you and him would still be together.” Jax steps closer to me and leans down. “I think that makes you a cheater.”
I feel like someone has sucked all the air out of my body.
I try to swing and slap Jax across the face but I miss him.
“I’m out of here,” he says. “If I go back in that dorm, I’m going to do something really crazy and really stupid. I’m going to hurt him so bad it’ll ruin my life and his.”
I’m trying to catch my breath but I can’t.
Jax balls up his hands and walks away.
I stare at him, my mouth moving, but no air or sound coming out.
I inch back and when I touch my door I jump and gasp.
I spin around and swallow back all the tears I can.
When I reach for the doorknob…
Oh… fuck… Ward has me locked out of my own dorm…
73
JAX
I don’t hear anything. I don’t see anything.
I just walk.
My eyes not even really focusing forward either.
I just keep walking.
No destination in mind.
Maybe I’ll go to the rink, skate and take slap shots so hard, I’d break everything in sight. Maybe I’ll go to the gym and lift until my body physically cannot lift another weight.
Hey - ironic enough - maybe I’ll just go get drunk.
Get drunk and start the whole process of fighting to forget as much as I can.
Because one thing I won’t do is be the sucker that keeps going back for more.
I’ve never done it and I’m sure as hell not going to start that shit now.
I let myself slide with this situation. I let things go way too far. Somewhere in my head I forgot to put up the normal boundaries. It all became way too casual, way too quick.
Fuck, what was I thinking? Of course I was nothing but a rebound to her. I filled in a certain spot that was empty in her life. For what? All she wanted was to come… and she did. A lot.
This whole notion of being or feeling used did not sit well with me.
I got what I wanted with Mila too.
I wanted to touch her. I wanted to taste her. I wanted to fuck her.
