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And with my face buried in Willow’s hair, my arms wrapped around her body and pulling her into my chest, I give into the pain that consumed me the entire flight. That I tried to hide from, pretending everything is normal. Because now there is no fallback. No father to correct any fuckups I make. Every single decision of this family relies on my strength to hold us together.
I have to trust them all—Dom, Willow, Luca, Regina—all of them. To believe that what we do together is right. Strong. To protect each other.
Lest everything my father worked to build, that I have built, will cease to be.
Willow wears my ragged breaths as they devolve into sobs, the weakness I’ll never allow anyone else to see.
Only her.
Because I love her, trust her. It’s time to show her that trust, how deep it runs, rather than throwing my anger over the top like a fix-it-all blanket full of holes.
My father is dead. And so, like the son I forgot I was, who I tried never to be in case I failed him, I grieve.
And pray she’ll forgive me, too.
Chapter Six
Empty Hearts
Willow
I lay awake in bed long after my husband has fallen asleep. I listen to his deep breathing, remembering the moment he finally gave in to everything and allowed himself to grieve, to break open and let out everything he had been holding in.
My heart aches for him but my words from the car remain true. I’m not the kind of woman he thinks I am. I’m not what he needs. And that perfect clarity only serves to break me a little more inside.
Rafe has been unsupportive as I try to find myself now that I am out from beneath my uncle’s thumb, preferring to focus on only his issues. I get it, I was lost when my parents died but I still made sure Roman came first. The love between Rafe and I is tainted by outside forces. We need a clean slate and that can’t happen with everything else still in limbo. I need to take charge of my own life and destiny before I can start building a life with him.
I’m not sure how any of this will work out in the end but the one thing I am surer of than anything else is that I am more broken than I ever knew. The things Sebastian put me through, both physically and mentally, have damaged me beyond repair.
Rafe deserves a woman that he can be proud of, not someone who needs to hide her scars from the world. My scars run deeper than what is written on my skin and the fact that I shut down in the car when Rafe spanked me only solidifies my decision. I need to find out who I am without him before I can start being with him. I need to correct my past sins before I can move forward in life.
Slipping from beneath the covers as the sun rises, I slip on yoga pants and an oversized hoodie before creeping along the hallway with my cellphone gripped tightly in my right hand. I wait until I have slipped out of the patio door in the downstairs library before calling the only person I can think of to help me right now.
“Willow?” The sleep-filled voice filters across the line.
“I need you.” Beating around the bush isn’t necessary.
“Where are you?”
I can hear the rustle of fabric as he shifts the phone around.
“On the back acre of the Gallo compound. I’m headed toward the back entrance.” My breath leaves me in rapid puffs, adrenaline surging through me.
I know that Rafe is going to be livid once he realizes what I have done but once he takes a moment to think this all through he will know that this is for the best. I won’t hold him back and I sure as fuck won’t be the downfall of everything that Armand and Rafe have built.
“What’s going on? Did something happen?”
“Just hurry, Seamus.”
I end the call and stuff my cell back into my pocket. Standing behind a tree, I force my breathing to calm, listening for any sounds that don’t belong. Taking a fleeting glance back at the house I just ran from, a single tear tracks down my cheek.
This is what it feels like to love someone. When you are willing to break yourself wide open, lay your soul on the line, and make the hard decisions to ensure the person you love has the best future possible.
I make my way through the trees, the leaves and twigs beneath my bare feet making me vividly aware of exactly where I am. It takes me the better part of fifteen minutes to reach the back wall even though it feels like hours. I can’t go to the front gate because Rafe will be alerted to what I am doing and I need this head start for my plan to work. Instead, I search the wall for an area that has a tree close enough that I can climb to help me over.
That’s the easy part. The landing is what hurts. My ankle gives way and I end up on my knees.
“Fuck, Willow,” Seamus says as he helps me up. “Are you okay?”
