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“I haven’t felt this old in a long time,” Hollis said as she sat down on the couch, “But I’d much rather sit somewhere we can talk than be shouting over the music up by the bar.”
“I completely agree.” Kate flashed her a smile as she sat down, leaving a little space between them, but probably sitting closer than she should have considering they’d just met a few moments ago.
A light breeze rustled through the palm trees enclosing the area, casting shadows over the pool and dance floor.
“Will your friend be looking for you?” Hollis asked as she looked out at the crowded bar area.
“Lexi?” Kate asked with a laugh. “Definitely not. She’s been infatuated with one of the bartenders all afternoon and the last time I saw her she was out dancing with her, so I doubt she’ll come looking for me. She knows I won’t get into too much trouble.”
“You won’t?”
Kate’s breath caught in her throat. The delivery had been innocent enough, but the intensity in Hollis’s eyes? Kate would be an idiot not to read into it, but sitting beside this effortlessly confident woman, it didn’t take long for the doubts to start creeping in. How could someone like Hollis be interested in her? Just like Kate had felt the need to have one more drink before she put herself out there and got anywhere near the dance floor, Hollis was probably doing the very same thing. Enjoying a drink with someone safe, someone who wasn’t the slightest bit intimidating, before she ventured out to find someone closer in age who was just as stylish as she was.
2
Hollis sipped her wine, internally cursing herself for coming on too strong, too fast. She was so out of her depth here this weekend. In all of her daydreaming about what her life might look like when she finally let herself be who she was meant to be, she’d forgotten to think about what this part might look like. What it would be like to approach a woman at a bar? Although she never would have imagined someone as young as Kate. She’d just intended to get a drink and leave, but she’d been intrigued by Kate, and then she was asking her to join her out here without putting too much thought into it.
Maybe Hollis could do with putting more thought into her words now, because she was pretty sure she’d lost Kate. Scared her off completely with that simple, somewhat suggestive comment.
Hollis met Kate’s gaze, her expression unreadable for a moment before a faint smile tugged at the corners of her lips. “Maybe trouble isn’t always such a bad thing,” Kate mused, her voice low and tinged with a hint of mischief. “I think I might be tired of playing it safe.”
Hollis returned her smile before she took another drink. She was shockingly inexperienced at all this. She married Gary twenty years ago. She’d just turned twenty-four, and back then, it never crossed her mind that the reason she didn’t feel a physical attraction towards someone she loved spending time with could be because she was gay.
But over the past decade, it had become clear to her that there was nothing wrong with her, despite what Gary had always implied. She shouldn’t go see a therapist because she never wanted to sleep with him. She didn’t need to unlock some childhood trauma that she was unaware of because she could never get off when they did have sex.
And that was what had taken her so long to get to this point, to be ready to finally file for divorce, to put herself out there.
“Tell me about New York,” Hollis said after a moment, getting away from her own thoughts. Maybe Kate was right. This was brave, coming here on her own like this. “Do you miss it?”
Kate exhaled softly. “I miss the city. I loved my time there. But the rest of it? I’m so glad that part of my life is behind me.”
“What’s the rest of it?” Hollis asked. “If you don’t mind me asking,” she added as she studied Kate, watching her angle her body towards Hollis on the couch and tuck a lock of her blond hair behind her ear.
“No. Not at all. Well, I worked like crazy to be able to afford to live in the city, so my day-to-day life was a bit hectic, but then when I got home… I don’t know. I don’t know how I ended up staying with my ex for the last five years. It’s been so long since we were good together, maybe just that first year, that I can barely remember those times.”
“Don’t be too hard on yourself,” Hollis offered. “I’m trying not to be anyway, and I’m twenty years into a marriage that was doomed from the start. You were young. Maybe in love. How were you to know that it wouldn’t work out?”
“You’re not bi?”
Hollis shook her head. “No. And I’ve been living with regrets of different kinds for just about every one of those twenty years, so… It could be worse.” She hadn’t meant to bring down the mood, but the words just flowed out of her, like she was talking to someone she’d known for years rather than just a few minutes.
“And now you’re here,” Kate said, holding her gaze. “Ready to start over.”
“Yes. So ready,” Hollis said with a soft laugh as she lifted her glass to her lips and took another drink, the smooth Merlot going down so easily.
“What about you? Where’s home? Will you stay in the same area when you’re officially divorced?”
Hollis ran her fingers through her hair as she crossed one leg over the other, angling her body more towards Kate. “Los Angeles, and I imagine I’ll stay semi-local. I’ll be downsizing. That’s for sure.”
“What part?”
“Pasadena.”
“I’m in Glendale.”
“We’re practically neighbors,” Hollis said with a smile despite the fact that she’d come to this weekend with zero expectations of meeting someone who she might continue to see when she went back to her normal life. For one, she was going to be going through all the potential messiness of a divorce, and having an affair while doing so wasn’t an option. Plus, Hollis was trying to be realistic. She knew she had years and years of pent up desires and emotions ready to spill out, and that’s why she’d chosen this weekend rather than signing up for a dating site while trying to hide her identity. Nothing about this weekend could be serious. This was about her exploring her own wants and needs for once in her life, and it had nothing to do with her life in Los Angeles.
Perhaps Kate was thinking the same thing because she didn’t dwell on the subject of them living within a short drive of one another. “And what about you?” Kate asked after she finished her mojito. “Have you been seeing women all along? I’m not judging, by the way. I’m just curious.”
