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“I can’t do this anymore. It’s fucking bullshit, and I’m over it.”
I stilled, feeling as if he’d slapped me again. “Thank you for being so understanding.”
“That’s not what I’m talking about.” He took a couple breaths, his face tinted red in anger. “I trust you. I trust you with my fucking life. So I’m going to tell you something, and you have to promise me you’ll keep it to yourself. Promise me.”
My heart raced at a different speed as the situation became far more intense. As if I stood on the edge of a cliff, blind and deaf, I didn’t know whether I should take a step back or a step forward. Any move was risky. “What—what do you need to tell me?”
“Promise you won’t say a word of it to another soul—especially your father. Not only can you not tell him, but you have to act like there’s nothing to tell, like everything is exactly the same between you.Promise me.”
My eyes flicked back and forth between his, my heart practically jumping out of my chest at this point. “You want me to keep a secret from him?”
“Yes.”
“Will this secret cause anyone harm?—”
“This secret has nothing to do with the present or the future. It’s in the past. No one is at risk of harm. Well, except for me.” He took a breath as he stared at me. “You may not believe me, but regardless, I need you to keep it to yourself. Can you do that?”
“If it’s so risky, why even tell me?—”
“Because I love you. And I’m not losing you. Not over this.” He shook his head. “So, promise me.”
A part of me wanted to wash my hands clean and walk away from this. I suspected this was something I was better off not knowing. But Axel’s plea had me hooked to the spot. “Alright…I promise.”
He dropped his chin and took a breath, both relieved and overwhelmed that I gave the answer he wanted. “Alright.” He straightened, his eyes focused just a few inches below mine before he found the strength to look at me. “Remember when we pretended to break up to throw your father off the scent?”
“Yes.”
“It worked. But when we went to that art gala, he caught me staring at you across the room.” He grabbed his tie and pulled it from his neck altogether before he tossed it aside, missing the armchair because the material was so floppy. “It was just a look, but…it was enough. He told me I wasn’t good enough for you and if I didn’t leave you, there would be consequences.”
I felt my chest expand to allow for bigger breaths. My pulse quickened, pounding in both my neck and my temple. The only thing I had in this world was my father, a man who loved me so much that he made every sacrifice with a smirk. I couldn’t believe the accusation Axel was making. “What consequences?”
“He’d kill my father.”
I took a step back, as if Axel had just threatened me. “No…”
“I tried to end things…you remember.” His eyes dropped. “But you held on to me because you knew…you fucking knew that I didn’t want to go. You believed in us so deeply, and it wasfucking agonizing to try to shake you.” He clenched his jaw. “Nothing has ever hurt so much in my damn life.”
I shook my head, unable to believe it.
“One night, I went to see your father…and he had my father there…with a gun to his head. Said if I didn’t do it, he would put him in the ground.”
“No…”
His eyes lifted to mine. “I told him I loved you, and that I suspected you loved me, but that changed nothing.” He shook his head. “Nothing at all. I told him I’d tried to shake you, but you wouldn’t let me go…so he forced me to do something despicable.” He swallowed. “Cassandra.”
My arms folded over my chest as a protective barrier, but they couldn’t protect my heart from his words.
“He shot my father in the arm anyway, just because I’d taken so long.”
I pulled my gaze away from his face entirely, the adrenaline pumping through my heart so potent that I started to feel dizzy. My fingers squeezed my arms like a crutch, but I was too weak to support my body. I opened my mouth to speak, but hardly anything came out. “No…”
“I wouldn’t lie to you.”
I wouldn’t look at him. “My father would never…” I shook my head because I just couldn’t believe it. “He would never do something like that.”
“Baby.”
My eyes were determined to avoid his.
