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A couple minutes went by, and there was no answer.
I raised my fist to knock again, but the door cracked.
Her pale face was masked in defeat. Her eyes were devoid of emotion, like she hadn’t checked the peephole before she’d opened the door. When she saw me, her eyes narrowed, and a quick flash of shock hit her face, like lightning on a dark night.
I stared at her, seeing her messy bun and baggy clothes fitting poorly.
She stared back, one hand still on the door, keeping it barely cracked to bar me entry. Minutes passed, and she continued to look at me like a wild animal that had been caught by a hunter. If she didn’t move, she wouldn’t be noticed.
“May I come in?”
She hesitated before she gave a slight nod. Then she opened the door wide and stepped aside, her arms immediately covering her body.
I shut the door behind me then faced her.
It’d been a few days since our last conversation, and it was obvious she hadn’t left the apartment or showered or probably eaten. The sight of her made my heart squeeze in pain because I knew I’d caused it and then left it to fester. “I’m sorry for being an asshole.”
She tightened her arms as she took a noticeable breath.
“I just…” I had no words to describe my turmoil. It was like an avalanche that hit me all at once. It started as snowballs then turned into boulders, and then there was more than I could handle, and I was buried deep and left to suffocate. “I’m sorry for everything.”
Her eyes started to water. “I’m sorry…”
She wasn’t in a tight skirt and a low-cut blouse with her long hair down in curls, but she was still beautiful to me, even at her lowest. Her eyes shone with her sincerity, and I knew she felt only love for me in her heart. “I just lost it…lost my mind.”
“It’s okay,” she said. “I forgive you.”
My eyes flicked back and forth between hers. “I forgive you.”
She inhaled a deep breath, the kind that made her eyes water to the point of tears. “I love you.”
I finally accepted those words for the first time, let them echo in the silence as I absorbed them. When she’d said them before, Iwasn’t ready to hear them, but now I savored them like honey. “I love you too, baby.”
This was no kiss. Not even an embrace. She was so self-conscious about not showering for three days or even brushing her teeth that she asked for time to get ready and present herself in a better light.
After all this time apart, all this heartache, I hardly noticed her disarray. But I wanted her to be comfortable, so I left the apartment, headed down to the pizzeria where we’d gone out together for the first time, and grabbed a pizza before I headed back.
By the time I walked back into the apartment, she was ready. Her hair was shiny and bouncy, and her pale face now had some color after she applied her blush. Her eyelashes were thick with dark makeup. In just an hour, she’d turned into a smokeshow. She glanced down at the pizza box in my hand and gave a smirk. “Some things never change.”
“Nope.” I set it on the counter and walked toward her, taking my time because my heart raced like a Maserati on the track. She was in a blouse and jeans, but she might as well have come out naked because I was just going to rip everything off. When we got close, I felt the rush of blood to my head, felt the tingle of excitement that she gave me the first time I saw her. There was something about this woman that made butterflies swarm in my stomach. No one else had ever made me feel that way.
As I came closer, I noticed the breath she took, the way her nerves made her eyes shift back and forth much quicker thanthey normally did. Her excitement was bottled, and the pressure was about to make the glass crack.
I moved into her, my arms circling her tiny waist and bringing her in close to me. I’d wanted to kiss her when I first saw her, but now that I had her in my arms, all I wanted to do was squeeze.
So I squeezed her hard.
I squeezed her against me, my chin on her head, my eyes closed. A wave of pain rushed through me as I accepted how much I’d missed her, how miserable I’d been since she’d walked out on me. She’d believed my innocence without question, but when she didn’t believe my story about her father the same way, it broke me.
Her face rested against my chest, and she gripped me around the torso, her hands barely able to meet in the middle of my spine because of my bulkiness. Her quick breaths turned slow and even as the peace and joy swept through her.
I smelled her hair. Memorized the feel of her familiar body in my hands. Inhaled her perfume of roses and lavender. I wanted to stay like that forever, to have this moment last an eternity. I loved passion and excitement, but I also loved peace.
She was the first one to give it to me.
I pulled away and cupped her face, forcing her beautiful eyes on me. “It’s you and me from this moment forward. Alright?”
Her eyes were locked on mine, intense in their desire but rigid in their confidence. “Yes.”
