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“What about you?” I demanded. “What about your mission to do your duty by Romeo? The duty you imposed on yourself? Should I tell you to toss that aside? That it shouldn’t matter? Or what about Romeo? Should he have gone after his dreams and left you to fend for yourself at eleven years old? Duty is important, Rory. It’s necessary.”
She winced and dropped down on the chair. “I’m sorry. I’m being unfair.” She let out a sigh and my exasperation dwindled and then died. Truthfully, I wanted to fall down on my knees before her and beg her to soothe me again, to help me breathe, to stop the incessant spinning. “Anyway, like I said, my time here is up.”
“But there’s still one more man,” I said. “One more man who could be your father.”
“It doesn’t matter. It wasn’t meant to be.”
My heart ached. Being with her, holding her and being held had lessened the torment inside for a while, but maybe it’d only prolonged the inevitable pain of letting her go. I pulled on my clothes. “Will you come to my going-away party?” I asked, wincing after the words had slipped from my lips. The invitation sounded ridiculous and desperate. The last thing I wanted right now was a fucking party and seeing her there would just add to the anguish.
She shook her head, her expression sorrowful as though she was thinking the same things I was. “No,” she said. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
We stared at each other, the realization that this was goodbye hanging between us. I let out a breath, looking away and Rory stood, moving quickly toward me. We wrapped our arms around each other and for several moments we simply stood there, holding tight. “I didn’t come here tonight to say goodbye,” I said.
When she stepped back, there were tears in her eyes. “I know. But…it’s for the best. We both know that. Thank you for everything, Ivy League.”
No no no. But what did I have to offer her? Zoom “dates” as my schedule and the time difference allowed? A weekend here and there? A holiday? That wasn’t fair to either of us.
I gripped her beautiful face in my hands, my gaze running over her features, memorizing the details of her, both hoping they’d fade and desperately needing them to stay fresh. “If you ever need anything…some poetry on the fly or…”
She let out a soggy laugh. “And if you ever need anything…dart lessons or…”
My heart and my stomach clenched. And to prolong this one more minute was going to kill me. I let go of her face. “Goodbye,” I said, turning and walking out of her room. I heard her repeat the word in a whisper as I made my way through Faith’s house, and finally, out the front door, her broken voice echoing in my mind.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Rory
The sun was shining but I still felt like I was walking through fog. The only thing keeping me grounded were the three pups strolling jauntily in front of me, pulling me along. Despite the pain emanating under my skin as I glanced at the places where I had such recent memories with Gage, I couldn’t help thinking about how I loved this town, specifically here, by the park and the lake. Something about this place had started feeling like home in the last couple of weeks. The pull I’d felt all my life had been answered…here. But I didn’t know if that was because of the place, or the person I’d ridiculously fallen in love with. God, I ached. I already missed him so much I was honestly considering calling him and begging him to spend the last final hours here with me.
Even though I knew it would just end up hurting all that much more if I did.
There was a restaurant with a cute patio up ahead named The Strand and I looked for Faith who’d asked me to meet her for lunch. I spotted her by the short, wrought iron gate, waving me over. “Hey,” I said as I tied the dogs to the gate and took a seat next to them.
“Hi, honey. How are you doing?”
“Oh,” I sighed, “okay.” I’d already told Faith about how Gage and I had said goodbye, and how much it had hurt.
She reached out and patted my hand. “It’ll get better.”
Mrs. Bellamy’s housekeeper Marta’s dalmatian put her head in my lap and looked up at me with empathetic eyes. “I know,” I told Faith as I pet Roxy’s head, drawing as much comfort from my friend’s words as from the silent support of this sweet pup. The other two, Bartholomew and Mrs. Ramsbottom’s cocker spaniel Elwood, lay at my feet as though they sensed I needed the closeness as well.
“Did he even suggest you coming with him to London?” Faith asked cautiously.
I shook my head. “He knows I can’t do that. Plus, honestly? I don’t want to move that far away from Mud Gulch. I already miss my uncles and I’m only three hours away. I mean, can you picture it? Me knocking around London while Gage works ungodly hours, growing lonelier while he starts resenting me for whining to him about how he never spends enough time with me?”
The truth, though? If he had asked, I would have considered it. I loved him. I wanted to be with him. But as I spoke about the potential scenario, I realized what a terrible idea it would truly be. I’d be homesick. He’d be busy. Not just for a month or two, but for years on end. And it’d kill me to watch him work endlessly to please others, suppressing the spark of emotion he’d allowed to glow brightly with me because he’d clearly labeled it temporary.
No, he wasn’t going to ask me to go with him to London. But despite what he’d said, he seemed undecided on Blakely and the approval their union would garner. And really, maybe it was a good idea that Blakely accompany him there. She’d been his friend his whole life. She would likely be happy enough with the limited hours he had to give her. Plus, I’d looked her up on Instagram in a moment of weakness and saw that she was a stylist with two million followers. Two million! I had thirty-seven, and one of them was my uncle, Romeo. Blakely Wingate would thrive in London.
My shoulders slumped as depression descended. “Whatever we had together was never about London, or a future. What we had together was temporary. And now it’s over.”
“Things change,” she murmured.
I blinked as, behind her, three familiar women approached. Oh no.
Mrs. Bellamy. Mrs. Ramsbottom. Mrs. Buchanan.
My heart lurched and instinctively, I leaned toward the dogs, protecting them. But that was silly. These were their masters. They didn’t belong to me.
