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Behind me, I don’t think Tristan has seen or heard Lydia. She pushes the tape into the player when, really, the smart thing to do would be to hide it before he sees it.
I hurry over, whispering, ‘Lydia, no, don’t?—’
But she’s already pressing play.
81
BEFORE
Jenna and Rose sat against cupboard under the sink. Lydia stood beside them. I got up, my mind reeling. ‘Where’s the tape?’ I asked, holding Lydia’s gaze.
At the time, I’d told the police to look for one. I knew Mum had set up the one-to-one sessions and I knew she was recording them. So the students could study their art, she’d said. But they’d said what Tristan had given them was blank, that he’d claimed my mum had told him not to record the session.
‘Georgia, it doesn’t sound like something you should watch.’
‘You’re probably right. Where is it?’
‘I don’t know.’ Lydia looked down at the floor.
‘You don’t know?’ said Jenna, leaning forward.
Lydia shook her head. ‘Rose won’t give it to me.’
Rose gave me that defiant look again. ‘It’s not our choice – is it? What to do with it.’ she said. ‘It’s Jenna’s life.’
Jenna’s life? What about mine?
I smiled. ‘Will someone please tell me what is on this tape?’
Jenna closed her eyes. ‘It… it starts out… Uncle Tristan…’
I smiled harder. ‘I need to know.’
Jenna looked like she was going to be sick, and Rose looked away.
That told me everything, didn’t it? Jenna and Rose had watched the tape of my mother and Tristan and their one-to-one drama lesson all those years ago and the verdict against Tristan was guilty. Tristan was a monster. My mother was not. But I needed to hear it. ‘I understand it must be difficult, but this is quite important for me.’
Lydia leant against the counter. ‘Rose told me… it was Tristan who attacked your mother. Not the other way around. It was him.’
Something splits inside my head. I had always known. Always always known. I had never allowed myself to think otherwise, even though the tiny, infinitesimal, tip of it, scratching at the back of my mind, is what has kept me stuck in one place for the whole of my life.
‘You told her?’ Jenna said to Rose.
‘Just the first bit – she knew already.’ Rose bit her lip.
‘The tape needs to go to the police,’ Lydia said.
Rose looked at Jenna and Jenna’s face crumpled.
Right. Poor little Jenna.
‘I can’t do that to my family,’ she said.
I squeezed Jenna’s unhurt arm. ‘Jenna, I know he’s your uncle, but he did something terrible.’
She scowled at me. ‘I can’t believe you knew who I was and you?—’
‘I’m sorry. I couldn’t tell you who I was and you… remind me of me.’
