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Lydia shrugged. ‘I don’t know.’ She laid two fingers on Jenna’s bandaged wrist. ‘I know you want to protect your mother. But would you even be here if she had protected you?’
Lydia looked at me. ‘Even if Frances has to serve some time, she’ll go on pretending she did the right thing back then, for her family.’
My head felt like it might implode. I didn’t want that. I wanted Frances to feel guilt, remorse, grief.
Lydia turned back to Jenna. ‘Let’s let them think you’ve gone for one night. In the morning, take that tape to the police. You hand it over.’
Jenna looked into her lap.
‘She’s never going to get it, Jenna,’ Lydia said, brushing Jenna’s hair behind her ear. ‘Your mother’s never going to see how what she did that day led to you trying to kill yourself.’
Jenna frowned. ‘Did it?’
I stared at Lydia. Was that a bit of a stretch? Could a suicidal teenage girl’s problems really be all about something that happened when her mother was at school?
But maybe she was right.
Lydia rolled her eyes. ‘Don’t you see? The lie was too big. Since that afternoon Frances hasn’t stopped smiling. No one can get in, not even her daughter.’
Jenna hiccupped. ‘You talk about it like it’s her fault.’
‘No one would have believed that story if it weren’t for your mother, Mina and me.’
Rose sat up.
Jenna hugged her knees. ‘She does stop smiling – she cuts herself. That’s why she never wears shorts or sleeveless tops. She doesn’t just swan about. She’s in pain all the time.’
Well, I thought, at least she’s hurting. But then: How dare she? That’s my pain.
Lydia frowned. ‘So she knows. She understands. And she puts all her energy into hiding it. She chooses the lie over you, Jenna. Every time.’ Her eyes flicked from Jenna to me. ‘Go home now, and she’s not going to notice you, prison or not.’
I have thought about revenge a lot. Turns out, so has Lydia.
Jenna smacked her palm on the tiles. ‘She never sees me.’
Rose nodded.
‘I’m staying here tonight,’ said Jenna. ‘But I can’t be the one to hand in the tape.’
I cleared my throat. ‘You can’t stay here. Your mum saw me at drop-off this morning. Someone might come looking. Find somewhere else. And I’m taking the tape to the police tonight.’
‘One night,’ said Rose, staring down her sleek nose at me, ‘and I’ll give you the tape.’
Oh, right. I don’t have it. I can’t do anything without them.
‘One night,’ I said.
82
NOW
The screen is murky grey and deep black.
‘Is it on?’ asks Miss Smith.
‘It’s on,’ says Tristan as he steps away from the camera and comes into view. He’s so young. But he’s already so tall and strong. He towers over Miss Smith as he drags his chair towards her and sits down, too close.
‘Hey! Some space, please,’ says Miss Smith, beaming that smile like sunshine.
