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He didn’t want to come any closer. Like the big bad wolf, he feared the closer he came the better she’d smell him. And she’d know. Like she always did.
Invisible ants began to skitter across his skin, and the slow rumble started in his bones as he envisioned her catching a whiff of his sin.
He’d been taking chances. Too many. But he couldn’t stop himself.
“I said come help me now, boy.”
He ground his teeth and inched toward the bed. Leaning over Mama, he helped her sit up and then he snagged a pillow beside her, imagining holding it over her wretched face and watching her body writhe for oxygen. Instead, he placed it behind her back and fluffed the ones behind it. “Is that better, Mama?”
Suddenly her hand snatched him by the chin, her nails digging into flesh and her silver cross glittering against her throat like a knife. “You filthy boy!”
She knew.
Shoving his face from her, she threw back the covers and sprang to the floor in her nightgown and bare feet. “I know what you been doin’ with them girls,” she hissed, a sneer morphing her face from an old craggy hag into something darker, more frightening.
“Mama, I don’t know what you mean,” he offered calmly, but inside his bones rumbled. Ants skittered. His heart raced.
Stalking him like a lioness, she held her cross in one hand and pointed at him with the other. The crosses on the wall were like a banner above her head.
“I’ve been real good. Haven’t done anything evil.”
“Lies.” She held onto the s and let it snake through her teeth. “You’re a dirty boy.”
“No.”
“I know what you do in the night. I seent it with my own eyes.” She inched toward him, and he retreated a step.
“I was in your room, Sonny. I know what you’re guilty of. God’s gonna smite you for what you done to them girls! Maybe... I can save you.”
Kill her...for once shut her up.
“Stop!” Sonny shouted at the voice, but the rumble grew louder and the ants skittered faster. Temptation grew larger.
She’s nothing but a hypocrite. A liar. A whore!
Kill her. Do it.
Hand shaking and heart ratcheting, he clasped the bowl of steaming soup and slung it off the tray into her face. “Shut up! I haven’t done anything!”
Mama shrieked as the hot soup singed her skin and noodles stuck to her wrinkled face. She cursed him, dooming him to fiery eternity.
Now!
A dense and looming darkness he was familiar with slicked over his skin and slithered into his joints, his muscles, to his very soul, suffocating and snuffing out logic and reason. An icy burn ravaged his chest and shaded his eyes until he could no longer see but only feel pure, unadulterated rage.
His bones rumbled. The invisible ants skittered.
What are you waiting for? She’s found you out. She’ll tell. Worse, she’ll punish you. Force you to look at the cross. Recite the words. You have no other choice. And you want to. You’ve wanted to for forever. No one will know.
With a guttural cry, he lunged, knocking her haggard frame to the hardwood floor with a crack and crunch.
“Sonny! Get off me right this minute!” No longer was she in control. And she knew it. Fear dazzled her eyes with a sheen of tears.
Oh yes. Now she was finally afraid, and he was in control.
“What are you doing?” she cried.
He straddled her, pressing his thumbs into her eyes, ignoring her screeches. “You don’t see anything!”
