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“Yes.”
“The truth is, I can’t believe we are even having this conversation right now… I can’t believe you would even ask me that!”
He turned his face away to look out at the smaller, triangular windows just as the sun was finally setting on this day. And this was how it was to end. Which was why I said in a pained way,
“I can’t believe, after everything we have been through, all so we could get back to one another… this is what you focus on.” I watched as he swallowed hard before telling me,
“I sat in that jail cell with nothing but you on my mind.” I opened my mouth to speak but stopped when it was clear he had much more left to say.
“I asked myself over and over again what you were going through. What harm could befall your way. What dangers you could be facing and most of all… would I be there to protect you,” he said this last part after finally looking at me once more.
“More than anything, I wanted to know that if you ever encountered me in the past, that I would be kind and gentle. That I wouldn’t fuck it all up like I did the first-time around. That I would recognize who you were to me.” I couldn’t help but ask the question,
“Then why would you ask…” However, I never got to finish before he was interrupting me.
“Because I never gave any thought as to what would truly happen once I did recognize that you were mine. I could only focus on you being kept safe.”
“And now?” I dared to ask.
“And now I can’t get the picture of you two together out of my head. As soon as I saw the new claiming mark on your neck, I knew… I knew what all this time I didn’t want to face.” My mouth dropped at that.
“And what is that, Jared? That I fucked the man I love from another time?!” I snapped, no longer able to hold back the anger at the irrational guilt he was trying to make me feel. “Because I won’t let you make me feel guilty for even a second of that! I won’t let you taint it for me,” I said, now walking toward the door, ready to get in that damn car and make my way back to Afterlife if I needed to!
“Taint it for you?” His question stopped me long enough to answer him.
“Yes, because I will never apologize for loving you in whatever time I am in, and asking me not to is going against every part of my soul… every part of my heart, and I would refuse to do so, no matter who asked me. Even if it came from you… I could never stop loving you!” This last part I shouted before turning away from him, now fully intent on leaving.
“Where are you going?!” I heard him bark, making me throw back over my shoulder,
“Back to Afterlife and away from this new brand of crazy you have going on!” I turned away from him and really, I shouldn’t have been surprised when I found myself being grabbed from behind.
“No!” he shouted, making me reply with the only demand I could throw at him, one even I knew was pointless because he never would.
“Let me go!”
“I told you many times before, baby, I can’t do that.”
“Oh, but you can keep me here and hurt me… that you can do!” I shouted angrily.
“I would never hu…” I was quick to cut him off this time.
“Your words hurt me!” I told him, quickly feeling him tense behind me.
“You love me?” I swear I almost growled before answering him.
“Yes, you big idiot!” I snapped.
“I’m jealous,” he admitted on a sigh, one I felt from where he still held my back tight to his chest.
“Of yourself, so yeah, like I said… idiot.”
“I can’t help it. The thought of the both of you…” He tightened his hold on me but thankfully stopped before it could hurt me.
“Then maybe you best look in a mirror again, because that is the only man I ever see making love to me, the only man that ever has, remember?” I said, trying to make my point and take away all irrational thought this man had on me cheating on him with… well, himself!
“But he…” At this I’d finally had enough, so I turned in his arms and placed a hand on his cheek, telling him,
“No, not he but you. It was you, Jared, and no one else. Don’t you know by now, it is always you. It always will be, no matter how much time sets us apart. If there is a you in it, then I will be right there by your side. And I will never apologize for that, do you hear me?” I raised his face up as I said this last part and the sadness and regret I saw there in his eyes nearly broke my heart.
