AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“You had one reason,” I forced myself to say, making him narrow his eyes in question. Then it must have suddenly dawned on him what I meant, because he started shaking his head.
“No… no, she… she must have been mistaken… they must have convinced her that you were involved.” I released a regretful sigh before I started shaking my own head.
“She knew I wasn't involved, Jared.”
“What are you trying to say here exactly…”
“I think you know what I am saying,” I said, unable to keep the bitterness from my voice.
“No, because from the sounds of it, you're trying to say that she was involved but that's impossible, Lerna wouldn't have done this to me. She died that day… she died trying to save me, Ella.” His words were like a lashing to my heart and he got up out of his seat, dragging a hand through his hair in earnest as his anger gave a sour bite to his words.
“You have this all wrong,” he stated firmly.
“I wish I did, Jared, you have no fucking idea how much I wish I did.”
“She was played just like you were, she was a pawn in all this… she must have been.” At this, the tears now flowed freely. Even as I shook my head, they dripped to my lap before I hammered the nail in Lerna’s coffin.
“No, Jared, she wasn’t, and I know that because I was there, I saw it all and I’m sorry to say but… she was the other person at that meeting, Jared.”
“No! No… No,” he started saying over and over and slashing an angry hand down. But I got up to my feet and followed him as he started to walk away.
“It's the truth. She was there at that meeting, and she was the one who said now was the time to take you. To use the excuse that Francis Dashwood would have work for you… but this was all before they saw me and decided to throw me under the bus… then she was there playing the victim, casting blame my way with the others,” I told him, making him grip his head with his hands as if this would help in shutting the truth out.
“No… no, this can't be… this can't…”
I swallowed down the heartbreaking emotions, and knowing that I had come too far now to stop, I continued to try to get him to hear me.
“I was there, Jared. I saw everything and trust me, if there was any way that your wife had been innocent in all of this, I would have been the first one to try and see it that way. But I can't… do you hear me? I can’t, Jared! Not when she was the one who looked like she planned this from the start.” The second I said this, his face snapped back to mine, the anger I saw there made me flinch back despite knowing he would never lash out at me. He was hurt and I could understand that. Because I was no longer faced with the same man who had been hurt that day in the cottage. He had not been the same man who faced me now, the man who loved me. Not the HellBeast that had hated me… who didn’t know me.
“Lerna, my wife… you're trying to tell me that she was responsible for this… for all of this… this whole time, our marriage… that none of it was even fucking real?” he asked me, his voice breaking, and it again tore at my fucking heart. So, I started shaking my head, telling him,
“I honestly don't know, baby. I wish I could give you more. I fucking wish I could give you the reasons why. I can only tell you that after that day, you blamed me. You blamed me right up until the moment that Marcus made you see the truth.”
“Marcus,” he said his name while looking out the window, as if knowing that he was still out there, just waiting to pick up the pieces of his friend. More pieces I knew I still had left to break.
“You didn't just not believe that I was from the future, Jared, in fact, you didn't believe in most things I told you. It's why I had to change my appearance, so that you wouldn't recognize me at all,” I told him, making him take a deep breath before repeating once more,
“Because I blamed you?”
“That, and more,” I said in such a way, I was really hoping that it would be enough. But that hope was quickly dashed and driven away when I saw his face harden. Like he knew what was coming next but had to hear it anyway.
“What type of more, Ella?” I shook my head and turned away, now being the one to put distance between us.
“What more, Ella?” he repeated again, more sternly this time, before finally I snapped, giving in and telling him the horrible truth.
“I met an elderly lady, her name was Josephine. She was good to me, Jared. She got me a job, one I needed so I could save up money to travel. I needed to get to my uncle, and I knew that I couldn't just walk there. But you found me, a week or so later. Before I could leave, you showed up at her cottage one night.” The pain in my eyes must have been easy for him to see.
“What happened?” I shook my head, tears falling from my chin once more.
“It wasn't good, Jared,” I said, warning him and hoping once more that this would be enough… but it wasn’t.
“What did I do?” He looked to force out the question through gritted teeth, adding to the most tense conversation we've ever had. A conversation that felt like it would never end.
“You were so angry. You blamed me for everything, you were still in mourning, heartbroken over your wife and…” I couldn’t continue, tearing my watery gaze away from him.
“Don't make excuses for me, Ella, just tell me what I did,” he demanded, making me bite my lip, just to stop myself from crying. So, I started nodding, telling him that I would. That I would tell him everything.
“You came at me… you… you wanted to kill me… you tossed me across the room and…” I choked back a sob as more tears overflowed but it was the tears that I saw in his own eyes that fucking killed me. Not the past. Because now he looked more affected by this knowledge than anything else I had told him. His hands went through his hair, holding his head and looking more pained than I had ever seen him before. He looked like my words had gutted him.
