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I got it into my head that we should do something special for her, make a big deal out of Valentine’s Day that was coming up fast. It would be our first one with Jasmine and I wanted to celebrate in a way that she understood we intend to spend all our future Valentine’s Days with her and it could be a kind of romantic anniversary for us. I talked to the guys, and they were all for it. We divided up the jobs so everything would get done properly.
“It’s going to be epic!” Jake told me.
“Please never use that word again,” I said, wincing.
“Ouch,” he said. “You could’ve let me down easy on my slang. I’m the one with all the code. I can fuck up your encrypted channels and let someone steal your identity, you know,” he groused.
“Yeah, but we’re twins, so it would probably screw with your credit score or something,” I said.
“You know, they said you were the genius, but that still makes no sense,” he said, “Anyway, I got the gas station chicken wings ordered, and you should know that it gives me pain to do this. I could make my dry rub seasoning blend, marinate some antibiotic-free chicken…” he shook his head.
“No. It’s about what she likes. Not what we want to give her. I know it killed part of you to enter a gas station and preorder three dozen hot and spicy wings, but I’m proud of you, bro.”
“Thanks, E. I’m gonna go for a run, clear my head.” Jake still looked bemused, gave a small shudder and I had to hold back a laugh.
“Still trying to shake off the grease and cigarette smell of that place?”
“Maybe. I’m a food snob. But that wrapped up what I needed to order for the dinner. Thanks for doing all this. She’ll love it.”
“I know,” I said, a self-satisfied grin on my face.
I couldn’t wait.
28
JASMINE
Not for the first time, I was glad to be the only woman on full time staff at the security firm. It made the ladies’ room my exclusive property. So I could stand there leaning on the sink as long as I wanted while my life practically flashed before my eyes.
The stick sat there like an innocent piece of white plastic that didn’t look like it should have the power to change the course of my entire life. But it did.
My period was late, but after all the tension and fear that came with Chris charging back on the scene, I figured it was stress. I blamed my anxiety and lack of sleep for skipping a period. But when I checked the calendar and realized how long it had been, I put two and two together. Or I put four Burns men and myself together and came up with the sum of baby makes six!
There was an unmistakable plus sign in the results window of the test. I stared at it without blinking and tried to get my mind around it. I didn’t feel regret or shame, didn’t think of it as a consequence of being reckless. The baby was a miracle created out of the most surprising and joyful time of my life, with men I loved deeply and counted as my best friends.
What worried me was how they’d react. They were all good men, and I knew they’d be good dads. The fact was, we just started this unconventional relationship. I didn’t even know how to navigate that yet. I wanted to tread carefully. Everything good in my life always felt fragile to me. The happiness of being with the Burns brothers had shocked me in the best way. Now I wasn’t sure they’d feel the same about me with a baby on the way.
Would they worry about which one was the real father? Or secretly judge me for getting pregnant after being with all of them? I didn’t want them to think less of me, but I wouldn’t stand for anyone looking down on my baby. I already laid a protective palm on my belly and whispered, “We’re in this together, little one. I love you. Mommy loves you.” Tears sprang to my eyes. I choked back a sob. Damn hormones.
I wrapped the test in layers of toilet paper and jammed it down in the trash. I washed my hands and went back to work. The phone seemed to ring nonstop, and all of the guys were out of the office on jobs most of the day. I saw Ty when he brought me an iced coffee and picked up a wireless charger for his phone. Other than that, I saw a couple of the part time workers but no one else.
There was a crazy series of deliveries. First I signed for toner for the evil printer and copier. Then four separate arrangements of a dozen roses each—red, pink, white and yellow. My desk overflowed and I started pointing delivery people to the conference room to deposit candy, stuffed animals and balloons. A giant three-foot balloon of a monkey holding a heart from Ty that was attached to a jokey coffee mug that read ‘from the world’s best lover’. I rolled my eyes and sent him a text.Got a balloon and mug but they got the card wrong. It has your name not Jake’s.
Ty immediately replied,Remind me never to tease you. You’re a savage. Xoxo.He sent me a laughing emoji after that.
When I got the gourmet set of spice rubs in a fancy cellophane wrapped basket with a bow from Jake, I messaged him that I knew he was trying to improve my taste in barbecue but I’m perfect as I am. He replied that I was always open-minded, so he gave it a shot. I sent him a heart emoji because it was sweet. Even though I like my junky concession stand style barbecue wings. Despite the fact that the thought of them made bile rise in my throat currently. I whispered to the baby to please take it easy on the puking for me.
Drew sent me a big teddy bear that had on a sweatband and earbuds like a workout bear which was a silly throwback to meeting him at the gym years ago. I sent him a selfie with the bear and said we were logging miles together. He told me not to forget to stretch and cool down.
Eli had sent a sleek sliver model plane, the old-fashioned kind with a propeller on the nose, with a bunch of balloons and a card that said, ‘you take me higher.’Very sweet I love it.I messaged him.
Sweet? I should’ve gone with the best lover mug, damn.He answered and I laughed.
I spent way more time than I should just looking at my flowers and treats and surprises like a happy little dragon with my hoard. I really loved this and hoped that my pregnancy wouldn’t make them want to rethink our arrangement. I made it through the day even though I was so sleepy that at one point I think I napped for about fifteen minutes with my feet up while the phone went to voicemail.
Drew came in and nearly caught me sleeping. I leapt up from my chair and frantically tried to look busy. And while I was clicking the mouse to wake up my computer monitor so hastily, I remembered about my little secret and felt color flood my cheeks. I had to try not to look suspicious, which is impossible because as soon as I think about looking guilty, I do. Even if I have nothing to be ashamed of, it’s guilty-confession-face a hundred percent.
“You okay?” he asked.
