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“What?” I sit up, my pulse jumping. “No, you didn’t. At least nobody told me. I asked around the ranch if anyone saw you here or in town, desperate for any information.”
He frowns and averts his eyes. “I parked down the hidden road and came to the house on foot. But when I got close, I saw Aimee there, with you. I could picture it perfectly in my mind just watching the two of you: the future Mr. and Mrs. Sullivan.”
“That’s not true!” I protest.
He huffs out a laugh. “Isn’t it? She’s who your parents wanted for you, and you married her.”
“How can you say that when—” I motion between us, trying to make sense of everything crowding my head. “And why didn’t you just call to me? I would’ve asked her to leave.”
He shakes his head. “You don’t get it. Never have, I suppose.”
I clench my jaw. “Get what?”
“That I don’t belong here. Never have, never will.” When he sits up and reaches for his shirt, my mouth feels dry, like I’ve swallowed gravel. “We’re always sneaking around. Even now, I parked in the secret spot so nobody sees me banging the boss.”
There’s nothing I can say to defend that, and as I watch him slide into his jeans, I feel a cold punch to my chest. “But you said?—”
“You’re right. I agreed to this. It’s fun to hook up with you. Probably the best fuck I’ve ever had.” He shrugs. “So why not? I’ll likely leave at the end of the holiday season, or maybe hold out until the first signs of spring.”
Wetness stings my eyes because this feels too close to the surface, too real. Almost like a repeat of eleven years ago. “But what if I don’t want you to?”
“You don’t get to tell me what to do. I don’t belong to you. No matter how much I used to want to.” He grips the door handle. “But that was just a childish fantasy.”
“It was my fantasy too,” I call after him as the door shuts, leaving me feeling cold and alone.
Fucking hell, I wish I’d never brought it up. It ruined an amazing night between us, and not just because of the mind-blowing sex. Earlier at the bar, it felt like a new beginning.
I stand on shaky legs and begin pacing the room. I tell myself the topic had to be brought up. There are unresolved things between us, and that was one of them. But it’s like Porter put me in my place, reminded me who we are to each other—and it isn’t long-lost lovers. It’s boss and employee, who happen to be former childhood crushes wanting to scratch an itch as adults.
I push a hand roughly through my hair. For me, it’s more than an itch. It’s an ache embedded deep in my soul.
But can I blame Porter? We were always a secret, which was mostly my fault. I wasn’t out to anyone, and I’m still not. Though I’m not sure it would make a difference even if I were. Porter will never lay our family’s history to rest. He feels we robbed him of something. Which makes the fact that he’s here now, working for the ranch again, that much more shocking.
Maybe there’s an ulterior motive, even if Porter doesn’t realize it yet. Maybe he plans to steal something in return. Like my heart.
Too late.
I cut the light and crawl back into bed with the scent of Porter and sex all around me. Wish I could smell like this all day, all week. Damn, the way he ate my ass like a starving man and then fucked me good… That’s not something I’ll ever be able to shake.
My eyes finally shut, and I’m lulled to sleep by the aroma of him in my sheets.
* * *
The following morning at breakfast, Mom is looking at me weirdly, and I wonder if she heard us last night. I’m not sure how, since my bedroom is at the opposite end of the house relative to theirs, but maybe she had insomnia and was wandering around.
After another minute of feeling scrutinized, I can’t take it anymore. “What? Did I miss a spot shaving?”
Dad smirks as he buries his nose further between the pages of the local newspaper. He still gets monthly magazine deliveries too, though they’re all available online.
“I’m not allowed to admire my handsome son?”
“You see me every day.” I set down my spoon. “Something’s up. What is it?”
“Okay, fine.” She averts her gaze. “Guess who’s in town?”
“The tooth fairy?” I scoff. “Please, I can’t take the suspense.”
“Aimee Goring,” she announces, and I’m struck by the sound of her married name. “And her new baby.”
