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Fucking Randy. Why is he bringing his daughter into this? “That’s grown folks’ business. You don’t have to worry about that. Wanna go pet Storm with me?”
Her eyes widen, excitement dancing in them. We head into the pen, standing a good twenty feet away from Storm before he looks up at us…and walks over. He’s been getting so much friendlier, at least with me and Pixie. He lets us love on him, and now that I’ve haltered him, damned if I don’t wish I’d brought a saddle over to try and ride him.
My gaze keeps getting snagged on Aimee’s car while we pet Storm.
“Patricia! Let’s go!” Randy calls out from the barn, and I see the little girl’s shoulders curl in defeat. My spine stiffens in response.
“Remember what I said.” She nods, then runs to her father. The two of them get into his truck, the wheels kicking up dirt as they pull away.
Storm huffs. “I know. I don’t like it either.”
The chores have been done, and as much as I want to ride Storm, I know he’s not ready, so I climb on the back of Arrow and head out for a spot on the grounds I haven’t been since returning. The last time I was there, Sully and I were naked together, my dick rutting into him while I pinned him to the ground.
I shake that thought and keep riding. I know the way by heart, know every step to get to our stream, surrounded by trees and hidden from the eye. I tie Arrow to a tree, then plop down in the grass, looking out at the water.
I see us there, me and Sully as kids, him making me feel wanted, like I was important. I hadn’t had that before him, not really. Maybe with my mom, in her way, but it’s different coming from a parent. They have to love you, like you. Sully didn’t have to, and even when I wasn’t very nice to him, he did.
I’m not sure how long I’m there, but the sun will go down soon, the air with a slight chill to it.
When I hear a horse behind me, I don’t have to look to know who it is, recognize the scratch of his jeans and the sound of his breathing while he ties his horse beside Arrow, then walks over to sit beside me.
Sully remains silent, somehow knowing I have things to say but that I’m not ready. Instead, he takes my hat off, then brushes the back of his hand against my cheek.
“Aimee leave?” I ask, a jealous bite to my voice.
“You know it’s not her I want.”
He could have a woman, though, enjoy her in a way I never would be able to…not that I want to.
I turn away from him, looking out at the property that seems to go on forever…like it meets the sky, and damn if it’s not the most beautiful place in the world. Just like Sully is the most beautiful person. I feel like I’m a part of this land, like it’s in my blood, and it’s hard to get past the fact that Sully has it and not me.
Sully, who cares about you… Sully, who wants you… Sully, who has always made you feel things no one else does.
“I needed you,” I finally let the words slip past my lips.
“What?”
“I needed you that day. I was so broken, so alone, and all I needed or wanted was you…and I’ve never let myself need someone before. It was so fucking scary. I know you don’t get that. You’re so open, lead with your heart in a way I’ve never been able to do, but I felt like my whole world had collapsed that day, and the only thing I needed was you.” He gasps when I turn to look at him. “And when I got here, you were with her.”
“I wasn’t… I didn’t…”
“That don’t matter in here.” I touch my forehead, then my chest, right above my heart. “It reminded me that I didn’t have you, not really. And that I’d spent my whole life building these walls around myself, protecting myself, making them unbreakable, yet somehow, you’d found your way inside. You could hurt me, Sully, and I’d never given that power to anyone else. That’s all I’ve ever been afraid of…being hurt by you, so I ran before you had any more power over me.”
The weight in my chest somehow feels lighter, but heavier too. I needed to let that out, needed to tell him, but it’s doing what I ran from all those years ago. I’m giving Sully my truth. I’m letting him in, showing him parts of me that no one has seen, that no one is ever supposed to see.
“Fuck, Port.” He climbs onto my legs, sitting on my thighs that are stretched out in front of me. Sully grabs my face so I can’t look away from him. He’s so damn pretty—those big green eyes and light-brown hair. Just looking at him steals my breath. “I never wanted to hurt you, and I swear to God, if you give me a chance to have you, I’ll never hurt you again. My walls aren’t the same as yours, but you’re inside me too, you always have been.”
I look up at him. This time it’s me who takes his hat off, me who cups his face. “I don’t know how to do this.”
“We’ll figure it out together.”
I don’t have it in me to deny him, don’t have it in me to fight him or this anymore. I can’t stop wanting him, but I can’t stop being scared either. There are things Sully and I will never see the same. And, he’s still gotta figure out if he’s willing to change the future his parents expect of him, but I don’t have it in me to run. Not anymore. It’s like I can’t breathe with the thought of walking away from him, so instead I say, “Kiss me, cowboy.”
Sully grins and does just that.
Chapter 23
Bishop
