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He approached the bed slowly so as not to startle her and sat down next to her, holding out the mug.
“Here you go. Some tea to help you relax.”
Veronica’s eyes fluttered open, and she looked up at him, her gaze unfocused and distant. He saw the fear in her eyes, the pain of reliving whatever memories had triggered her panic attack.
“Thanks,” she whispered, her hands shaking slightly as she wrapped them around the mug. She took a sip and closed her eyes again, savoring the warmth and sweetness of the tea. She wasn’t relaxed, but nor was she as tense as she had been when he walked in.
He wanted to reach out and wrap her in a hug, to offer her some form of comfort. But he knew that physical touch wasn’t always comforting for someone dealing with trauma, so he remained where he was.
After a few minutes, Veronica spoke again, her voice barely above a whisper. “Why are you here, Connelly?”
He hesitated, not sure how to answer. “I already told you why. Your dad asked me to come. He’s worried about you.”
Veronica scoffed, her grip on the mug tightening. “My dad. He just wants me to be ‘fixed’ so he can pretend like nothing ever happened.”
Connelly winced at the bitterness in her voice. He knew there was some truth to her words, but he also knew that her father loved her. Arthur just hadn’t always been the greatest at showing it when she was younger.
“He loves you,” Connelly said.
Veronica shook her head, her hair falling in front of her face. “He loves the idea of me. The perfect daughter, the successful Air Force pilot. But he doesn’t know me, not really.”
Because you won’t let anybody close enough to know you.
But he didn’t say that out loud. “Arthur just wants you to be happy. And so do I.”
She looked up at him, her eyes searching his face. “Why, though? Why do you care so much?”
Connelly took a deep breath, knowing that this was the moment of truth. He could tell her the half-truth, the safe answer, or he could tell her the whole truth. The ugly, messy truth that had been simmering inside him for years.
He chose the half-truth. She wasn’t ready for the whole one yet.
“Because you’re my best friend, Vee. You always have been.“ Emotion roughened his voice. “And because...because I feel responsible for what happened to you. I never should have left you at that party?—”
“No.” Veronica shook her head and set the mug down on the nightstand, her hands trembling. “It doesn’t matter. You shouldn’t be here. I don’t need you or anyone else to help me. I can take care of myself.”
Yeah, right. After seeing firsthand how debilitating her panic attacks could be, how they left her shaking and gasping for air, he very much doubted that. He couldn’t imagine how she managed to get through them on her own. “But that’s the thing. You don’t need to. You have friends and family and… me. Please, let me help.”
Veronica looked at him, really looked at him for the first time since he arrived. He saw the hesitation in her eyes, the fear mixed with longing. “I don’t know if I can be helped, Conn. I don’t know if I can ever leave this place.”
He wanted to reach out and take her hand. Instead, he folded his into his pockets. “I’m not asking you to leave. You don’t have to unless you want to. I’m asking you to let me in.”
“You’re already in.”
“I don’t mean your bedroom, Vee,” he said dryly.
She scowled, but then her eyes widened in shock. “Wait. How did you get in? Did you break a window?”
“The door was unlocked and open.”
Her gaze shot to the bedroom door, and her cheeks drained of color. “I didn’t leave it unlocked. I never leave it unlocked.”
He’d known as much. “What set off your panic attack?”
She hesitated, her gaze still fastened on the bedroom door as if she expected someone to else to walk through it at any moment. “I had a nightmare, and then... when I woke up, I just sensed someone watching me.”
Which jibed with the crawling sensation on the back of his neck. He wasn’t a paranoid man by nature, but ever since walking into Veronica’s house, he hadn’t been able to shake the sensation of eyes on him.
“Okay,” he said finally. “I’ll sleep on the couch.”
